We've been dating for almost 4 years (and live together). He's an amazing guy, he's really sweet, he makes me laugh and supports me, we're super compatible...
Just not in regards to our sex life.
He has a super low sex drive. He doesn't even masturbate (which I would be totally fine with and hell would even encourage) but he's just not interested.
I would go as far to say that he's borderline asexual. He's not sex repulsed, but he never initiates and basically would rather do anything else than have sex. He seems to enjoy it when we do, but he treats it a bit like a chore. Like he talks about it in terms of something he has to do to keep me happy rather than something he actively enjoys doing.
It's a been a few weeks since we last had it because he's been very busy with work, which I understand. But whenever I mention it, he apologises that he hasn't "been able to give me sex". He never references missing it himself or wishing he could have sex, just that he's sorry for me that I can't have it. It can be upsetting the way he talks about sex with me in this way, ngl.
I have a super high sex drive so this has been very frustrating. So for a while now I've been thinking about bringing up the idea of an open relationship. Even though I know it would be entirely one sided since he's just not interested in doing it himself. But at this point I can't see what else to do. I cannot have sex this infrequently, and I can't magically make him hornier.
I wouldn't want him to force himself to have sex with me more often when I know full well he's doing it entirely for my benefit and would rather be doing something else.
At least if I could go out and be physical with someone else, I wouldn't have this frustration and he wouldn't feel the pressure to have sex when he doesn't want to.
But I don't know whether open relationships even work or if it's just something that inevitably leads to a break up. I don't want us to break up, but I worry that to even mention an open relationship would basically be the first nail in the coffin of our relationship.
Should I bother bringing it up? How should I approach it? Earlier I jokingly referenced that I wish I had a male sex robot, and he said he wished I did too. I then jokingly said how about a rent boy? (to test the waters a bit) but he sort of laughed and said he really wouldn't like the idea of that. So I feel that I already have my answer to what he'd say about an open relationship and bringing it up would be a terrible idea.
tl;dr - BF has basically zero sex drive, I want to bring up an open relationship but worry it would be the end for us.
Submitted February 26, 2021 at 02:24PM by throwaway7993uqc https://ift.tt/2O6PF8k
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