How can two people (31M & 30F) from vastly different financial backgrounds, respect each other's "work"

Husband and I married for 2 years, together for 6. He was born into a super wealthy family. I had to sign prenuptial agreements to marry him. It's above the 8-figure mark. He lives out of trust funds.

My job is demanding 50-60 hour per week. I make good money, but not even 6-figures. Pay all my bills, and even my mortgage. When we got married, he moved in with me because my home has great location to town, friendly atmosphere, etc. He was living in one of his parents properties, which was a good drive away from my work. We debated where to live, but decided my place was best due to location. Plus I found it odd to possibly randomly encounter in-laws, gardeners, general "help" they have on their estate.

He does not pay me to live in my home, but that is fine with me. He has 0 equity in my home. He contributes in other was such as paying the utilities and groceries. He also does about 80% of the house work, walks our dogs, grocery shops, laundry, cleaning, etc. I mostly do dishes and make most meals.

Our problems are not from individual expenses or division of household chores. We've discussed buying a home together in the future, but for now, what's mine is mine and his- his.

Our problem stems from the respect we show each other in regards to each of our financial situations and "jobs." He gets stressed out from house work, and practically asks for help. Meanwhile, I work a full-time job to maintain my own savings/bill pay/retirement planning, etc. because in the event we ever split, I'd be in a bad spot without my own money or career. Plus, I feel too young to be dependent on him financially, even if we annulled the prenub, I'd feel "gold-digger-y."

We've discussed children, and if I'd quit my job/career to raise children with him. While time off is one thing, his expectations are I work less and be a parent more time then I currently have available. This exposes me financially if we ever separate.

I stray from my point and our main problem: Respecting each other's daily jobs.

He has trouble respecting my job, because it does not benefit him at all. Nor was he raised with any sense of "financial pride." He thinks working at McDonalds and my career are basically the same thing. Work is work, it doesn't matter, he had part-time jobs before more so out of boredom then necessity. He can't understand why working less to build a family is risky for me financially. His family is all lawyers, so in an ugly divorce, my fear is losing custody, getting $0 in support, etc. I don't think annulling the prenub is anything his family would allow either, even if he wanted to do it.

I have trouble respecting his caretaker duties. Our dogs are the biggest source of hair and dirt. I love our dogs, but they were "his dogs" before we even met. Getting rid of them is not an option, but I can't wake up 30-45 minutes earlier then I already do to walk them. He has time to play video games and watch Netflix every single day. It's EXTREMELY hard for me to have sympathy for him, since he's an adult with over $10 million in a gifted trust fund and 100x more free time then 99.99% of people. But he struggles because I don't give him enough recognition for chores. He'll get upset at something, and to me I don't see it as a big problem. Dogs track mud across the carpet, and he's looking at me to help clean it up. That might literally be the only "work" he has to do all day, while I have a 10 hour job to head off to.

As a side note, money is my only motivation for working. My goal was to always save $1-2 million and retire as early as possible. Only then can I discover my true passions in life, because my career, while well paying, isn't really my passion. In my perfect world, we have 3 kids, I work until 40ish and he annuls the prenub while we discover our passions together while raising a wonderful family.

TL;DR: How does an extremely wealth individual and hardworking career motivated individual respect each other's stance on daily life/jobs.

Submitted February 24, 2021 at 01:30PM by Light224pon https://ift.tt/3uxIA1o