Ugh. I have no idea what to do with this. We've been together 3 years.
Once early on we were listening to a comedian talking about bad hygiene. My boyfriend told me his ex-girlfriend's vagina "smelled bad". He said he told her, but she was really shocked and said she wasn't aware. She went to the doctor but they didn't find anything wrong. He put it down to the fact that she smoked. (I'm just including this because now I'm experiencing it too)
Me: I practice very good hygiene. Wash my hair every 2 days (it's not oily but it's short and I like how it looks after I wash it). I shower in the morning to wake up. I often take baths at night to relax. I shave daily. I wear deodorant. I change my clothes daily. Use fresh towels. Floss/brush regularly. I mean...all the normal things.
He's often made little comments. Once he asked me why I smell "like that" while wrinkling his nose. I said it must be my new hair conditioner, so I stopped using it.
He sometimes will tell me I have bad breath. I always go brush my teeth. I've taken to chewing mint gum a lot. (I get regular dental check-ups too and everything is fine)
He asked me once how long it had been since I washed my hair (literally the day before). My hair is definitely not oily, but he looked at it as though it were greasy.
Once when we were cuddling he said "you just kind of smell...maybe you should start wearing perfume". I asked him for more details and he couldn't say exactly....sort of like "old BO". But I had just gotten out of the bath (I use the same kind of soap that he does) and put on a freshly washed nightgown.
Recently I asked him to go down on me. He said he doesn't really want to right now because I "kind of smell" down there. I was shocked (I definitely can't smell anything off going on). I pressed him for specifics. He said I usually smell kind of bad. When I insisted on more of a description he faltered and just said "you smell like fat". What does that even mean?? He can't explain it, just that "fat" has a smell. (for the record, I'm about 20lbs over my ideal weight and have been for the past 5 years....but he's about 40lbs over his ideal weight and I don't think he smells like "fat").
I asked my friend if she thinks I smell (in general, not down there lol) and she said no. I know we can't always smell ourselves, but I would think I would know if I'm always funky. My ex boyfriend never once said I smelled bad.
I'm just at a loss. As well, my boyfriend has great hygiene but also seems to be able to stomach other bad smells without batting an eye (ex: he's always letting his boxer dog lick his face, and that old girl is pretty pungent). He also didn't notice when his cousin came over reeking of BO. But he seems hyper-aware of me smelling bad (but I can't even figure out why I smell bad at all).
One other point (that's kind of weird). His teenaged cousin (female) was staying with us for a few months. He was always telling her she smelled nice. She doesn't wear perfume, but it's just her shampoo/soap. So I saw what she uses and bought some for myself. He didn't seem to notice (he didn't tell me I smelled good, but at least he didn't say I smelled bad).
Even if he told me I smelled like BO I'd be surprised (because, as mentioned, I'm really clean, wear deodorant daily, wear clean clothes), but since he told me I smell like fat I don't even know what to do with this.
I can't tell if he's just not attracted to me? Would that explain finding my healthy, clean body offensive? Does he have some bizarre ultra-sensitive nose that is only attuned to me? I don't know what to do!
tldr: boyfriend always seems to think I smell kind of bad and when I insisted on a description all he could give me was "fat".
Submitted February 24, 2021 at 07:06PM by VividBuy7187 https://ift.tt/2NZekeG
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