My [27/M] sister [33/F] left her fiancé [32/M] & a “boring life” for fun and excitement with her new boyfriend [28/M] who is the epitome of awful. Now she wants to dump boyfriend and try and convince her ex to take her back. Can I warn him? Can I offer him unsolicited advice?

I live at my parent’s home. I do so because grad school is expensive and they live 10 minutes from where I was fortunate enough to gain admission. So far, so good. My parents sold their house and moved into this house about 4 years ago. They “downsized” as they are empty nesters. It was a smart move, but it means my sister Stephanie lives close by. And Stephanie is the author of all her misery.

Steph decided sometime in September of last year that she was “done” with her fiancé, a nice, quiet, inoffensive guy, that has a good job. She wanted sparks, passion and excitement back in her life. Darren is a nice guy, but he’s not “exciting.” Fair enough. So, she blindsided him, dumped him, moved out and into my parent’s place. She whined and complained for mere days until she met Mr. Excitement (Mr. E). Mr. E is possibly the worst person I have ever met. He didn’t graduate high school, he has no job, no employment history, no goals. He leeches off people, is constantly causing drama, routinely cheats on my sister and is generally a sinister a$$wipe. He is constantly “hustling” (which is a byword for “engaged in obvious, petty criminal activity”). He is proud that he doesn’t work, proud he is uneducated and proud that he’s a rude, mean and superficial dimwit. He is that he struggles to read. Since she met him, he’s been arrested twice. She’s bailed him out, both times. She’s lost a boatload of money. Yet, somehow, it took multiple events to make her realize this guy is trash. It didn’t set in when my parents changed the locks so she couldn’t accidentally give Mr. E the keys to their place after an incident that got everyone upset.

Frankly, none of it is my business, but she’s slowly coming to the realization that Mr. E is a scumbag. He’s not allowed near my parent’s house. They’ve met him once and won’t have him around, so my sister feels the need to confide in me her problems. Her friends have mostly distanced themselves from her while Mr. E is around. He hasn’t hit her, but when she was late picking him up, he began freaking out on her (oh, he also can’t drive as he never got a license, but routinely takes my sister’s car places.). So came into my room one night while I was sleeping and got into bed with me (creepy) and asked me what I would say if she got back with her ex, Darren. I may have given her bad advice of “yeah, go do it” because I wanted her out of my room and her away from Mr. E., but she was terrible to Darren and frankly it’ll just be even more drama. Now she’s absolutely 100% convinced this is the best route.

Do I owe it to Darren to warn him? Should I stay out of it? I love my sister, but she brought drama into her life; she dated a lowlife petty thug to break the monotony of life and in the process nuked every friendship and relationship she’s had with people. No one wants her around if Mr. E is around and she’s pretty much down to talking to me, her dog and our mother. Everyone else is so annoyed with her (including our other siblings) that they refuse to talk to her. She’s confided in me some pretty shady things, and I worry the longer she’s with him, the more likely it is she’ll do permanent damage to her reputation and wind up on the wrong side of the law.

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tl;dr sister wanted a new life and fun and excitement. she hooked up with a criminal who is dragging her down to his level. She's lost most of the people in her life, and confides a lot in me. She wants to dump her current boyfriend and try and get back with her ex. I'm torn between staying out of her mess or helping by saying something to Darren to remind him not to take her back.

Submitted February 23, 2021 at 11:55AM by notmyrealname889 https://ift.tt/3qOgsok