hi i desperately need to get this off my chest and i am too embarrassed to talk to my sister about it.
in october, I (f15) asked a guy from my club (m17) to join for a video game competition because we were missing a player. After that, we became fast friends and talked every day. we started dating in december, and things were going great at first. he made sure i didn’t tell anyone. (i probably should’ve seen the red flags) however, i got caught sneaking out to see him and my parents found out. my sister (f29) told me to stay away from him, he was a senior and i had barely made it into highschool. i refused.
i fought with her on it and ultimately lost contact with her. in the argument, he told me what to say the entire time. during this period, he started talking about sex, he asked if i wanted to do it and as a young and dumb teenager, i said yes. he constantly asked for nudes and i always did what he wanted. he had asked to see my private area multiple times and screenshotted every explicit picture i had ever sent. he came to my house with condoms and basically tried to fuck me while my mom wasnt home. he “urges” me to hangout more with my friends, but then when i do, he whines about not spending enough time together even when i practically texted him all day.
finally, at the end of january, i mustered up the courage to break up with him. i explained that i wanted to split since my mental health was declining. at first, he said no, and then tried to negotiate so i would stay with him longer, i told him no, and the break up call lasted 3 hours. the first hour was me trying to tell him that i couldn’t do this anymore as i had lost my entire family, and i was barely in contact with my friends. the other 2 hours was him crying and saying things like, “fine, your happiness can come at the cost of mine” / “if you really loved me, you would’ve stayed with me” / “i just can’t believe how selfish you are” and a bunch of other bullshit.
i called him manipulative and abusive and he basically said “i’m not trying to shame you! i just thought you were being selfish”
i’m thinking about it now, and i’m so mad at myself for everything. every time my friends mention him, i immediately feel myself clamping up, and any mentions of sexual matters makes me really really nervous and kind of nauseous
i don’t know what to do, it feels so hard to wake up everyday and think of everything that i’ve done
tl;dr: i’m pretty sure i got groomed and i have no idea how to go on with life
edit: maybe groomed wasnt the right word lol, idk what its called and im not sure if i can change the title, sorry for misleading
Submitted February 26, 2021 at 02:32AM by aym_2 https://ift.tt/3q6c6b7
No comments:
Post a Comment