I have a roommate who also happens to be my childhood friend. We are women newly in our thirties.
Her marriage ended abruptly and was kicked out. I have a small guest house I rent out and offered it to her. She has her own entrance and access to my kitchen through a private entrance but no access to the rest of my house.. I like to be alone, although I often invite her for dinner,drinks, and to unwind when I’m feeling social.
We have daughters who are the same age. They don’t see each other much. Her child spends a lot of time at grandparent homes due to her irregular work schedule and the fact that she prioritizes her romantic relationships first.
After two weeks of her brief marriage being over she began dating some guy she met while she had been separated. She brings Jack over often and I hate to think this and even say it but Jack stays here so much more then her child has.
I stay out of that. It’s none of my business. She’s one of my closest friends and I care for her. I won’t comment on it to her although it really upsets me to see what she does.
One day I asked her if her daughter could come on the weekend to play with mine. They are best friends. She said yes. On that Saturday night she asked me if her child could sleepover with mine. She was brining Jack over and didn’t want her daughter to stay with her because Jack would be staying over. I obliged the girls obviously love to sleep over and 1000% agreed it was inappropriate for her to meet Jack or even see her mom having a man over. The one night turned into two nights in a row.
Another weekend she asked me if they could have a play date again and have ourselves a wine night. I said yes. Except this time she asks my 9yo daughter if she wanted a sleep over with her daughter. Then tells me she asked my daughter and that she said yes as if she’s the decision making adult.
That night we had a wine night and she shockingly called it a night early. My friends is the kind of person who never knows when to leave. She will stay till 3-4am or until I fall asleep. So I was surprised but she said she was tired and quickly walked away. I followed and said I’d see her out because it was dark. She insist not to as I then saw her walking away with a bottle of wine, two wine glasses, followed by jacks car on the lot. I thought it odd she didn’t tell me. It bothered me. It seemed like she has this planned all along.
She doesn’t need to explain her life to me but when she’s leaving her child with me in my space I think it’s more then fair that she first asks if she can even leave her child and tell me why.
So today her daughter came over for the first time in weeks. Unfortunately mine left with her dad. She asked me if her daughter could play in my daughters room. My daughter doesn’t like this. She’s told me she wants no one in her room. I said yes trying to be nice.
Around 6pm I left to see my boyfriend. I texted her around 8 saying I’d be home after dinner and she said Jack was coming over and he was having dinner and leaving right after.
Jack has never met her daughter. I’m surprised she hasn’t tried to make that happen (knowing her)but also proud of her for not doing it. She spent all last weekend with Jack I was wondering why she couldn’t just hangout with her daughter that’s never here but that’s her prerogative.
I come home before midnight. I saw jacks car still here and the tv on in the small guest house. I thought it odd. I come home to her daughter sleeping in my daughters bed. This just all seems so inappropriate. This makes me really upset. She asked if she could play in her room I said yes to that. She never asked if she could sleep there. This was very upsetting to me. Had she asked I may have said yes but she didn’t. It occurred to me as it happened once before that this was her plan all a long. Probably didn’t have someone to pawn the child off to this weekend.
I am disturbed with her actions. I was thinking wether I should bring it up or not. I just don’t find it ok. Another part of me is like well is this hurting you in anyway? Not really. I don’t agree with her parenting choices sure but this isn’t a huge detriment to me. Had I had people over or wanted to use that room. Here she is taking it as she pleases when she barely pays a third of rent. She even asked me last weekend if she could sleep in my daughters room with Jack because her friends lol were staying in her room. I was like WTF.
Should I bring this up and how should I say it ? I just don’t understand the nerve on her. A part of me feels like I shouldn’t say anything to keep the peace and not make her feel judged. On the other hand this really gets under my skin. Help?
TL;RD: roommate is leaving her child in my home and space so she can have her boyfriend in hers. She either does this in a way designed to seem like it was spontaneous, or asks for play dates. She has her own room and access to my home. Yet continues to take advantage.
Submitted February 27, 2021 at 02:25AM by Striking-Paramedic10 https://ift.tt/3q57uSi
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