Stats: me 35f, partner 37m, together for 10 years.
Four months ago, after a very painful conversation my partner admitted to me what I had been suspecting for quite some time: that the reason he had become so uninterested in sex was because he was no longer sexually attracted to me because of my weight gain.
I sort of knew this was possible, but maybe needed to hear it from him for some reason? We have been together for ten years, but for the past three years have had an almost non existent sex life. It was very hard to understand because we were communicating fine, getting alone well, and still overall really enjoying the relationship.
I am also not happy with my weight gain, at times I felt completely depressed about it. I had gained close to 50 pounds over the course of dating (no kids), just out of poor habits, no physical activity, and ignoring underlying hormonal/health conditions. I had been half heartedly trying to lose weight for years, but never committing and giving up all the bad food habits. I don’t blame him for how he feels, I don’t think we can control things like this in attraction. I can’t say for certain but it’s very possible I would feel similarly if he put on noticeable weight gain. I know he avoided telling me to spare my feelings, but this conversation felt like a real wake up call to me, I could make the changes and try to rekindle things with the person I truly love and planned on spending my future with, or accept that I could stay overweight and I guess be single or try to find someone else who would be attracted to me at my current size.
It’s been about four months and I have lost only 12 pounds. I am trying hard but still struggling, sInce there are many deep rooted habits to try to undo here. But the biggest struggle I’m having is the complete heartbreak and confidence destruction that this brought about. So many things trigger me to feel so insecure and unhappy that never did in the past. Even seeing love scenes in movies or shows can upset me. How do I cope with this?
My partner has made it clear to me that he loves me very much, was happy to stay in this relationship despite the lack of intimacy, and is also happy to support me as I try to get healthier, but I still feel so sad about it even four months later. Help!
TLDR: I gained 50lbs and partner is no longer sexually attracted, in it for the long haul and trying to make changes, but my feelings are still really hurt. How to cope?
Submitted February 25, 2021 at 08:05PM by Odd_Peace1849 https://ift.tt/37Pe21g
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