I (19F) was just affirmed by the man (28M) I’ve been seeing that age is a huge factor in his interest and now I need advice

My posts on r/relationship_advice generally get drowned out before I can get the advice I need so this is a copy paste on my original post since crossing isn’t an option.

Context: He’s successful and handsome, I’ve only seen him twice but he’s a very busy man so he sees me when he has a fair bit of free time away from work. For our first date he invited me over and made us some drinks. We listened to music and chatted a bit before he took me to bed with him. He’s away right now for business/family and told me that when he gets back he wants to take me on a proper date but I’m not sure I want that anymore and this is why

This is the aftermath of an off putting situation I posted about on Reddit yesterday but to summarize, I was worried this guy was “trophying” me because of a comment he made. He mentioned that he likes women < 21 and proceeded to tell me how his niece’s friends (18Fs) were trying to get with him.

A very helpful redditor told to talk to him about it so I did and he reaffirmed my suspicions. It really sucks because I prefer men that can make me feel more secure and protected (and this man is extremely protective, like always walking on the street side of the sidewalk protective) but with that type their interests in me always end up being similar, where they “date down” for selfish reasons. Being someone’s arm candy gets old after a while but he’s successful and handsome so it’s hard to let him go. This is a problem I’ve been noticing with the men that are interested in me. It doesn’t really matter whether they’re 22 or 31, to them I feel like I’m just something pretty to look at and it used to be a compliment but that gets old and more often than not abusive from my experiences. I generally wait for men to approach me so it’s not like I’m going out of my way and ending up with shallow dudes. He’s not the first either so why does this keep happening to me? Is there something I’m doing? How do I weed out guys with shallow intentions to find someone interested in maintaining a genuine connection with me?

TLDR; Men have only ever been interested in me for shallow reasons whether that be my body, attractiveness or age. How do I get that to stop and find someone interested in maintaining a genuine connection with me?

Submitted February 23, 2021 at 03:32PM by edeathisms https://ift.tt/3se3IaS