My [36M] girlfriend [36F] has been working on her PhD almost 7 years. How long should I support her?

My girlfriend and I have been together about 3 years and were close friends for about 18 months prior to that. We've been long distance the whole time, which we had always said we'd close when she graduates. When we started talking, she was 3 or so years into her PhD and was finishing up her fieldwork abroad. She was passionate and driven, and super intelligent. I still think she's intelligent, but I think she has zero drive and very low work ethic now. She's been working on her dissertation, formally, since January 2017. In April 2020 she almost reached the point of defense before her committee outright rejected what she had and sent her somewhat back to the drawing board. She has always been extremely stressed about her paper, but in the beginning at least that was combined with a great sense of passion and drive. For at least 18 months, prior to the failed defense and certainly since the failed defense, she's been all stress and zero passion. I want her to quit. I don't see why she's still spinning her wheels on this, but she's incredibly stressed and not moving forward. The stress impacts our relationship on an almost daily basis. She's not a fun person when she's in panic mode.

I have always been extremely supportive, and tried to help where I can (e.g. talking out an idea or even editing pages or a whole chapter). I'm pretty good at that - I have my PhD already - but ultimately it has to be her paper. I've reached a point where I don't support it anymore. If she doesn't have a passion or care for it anymore, I don't want her to keep languishing.

We had it out this morning about that, and while I'm certain she didn't suddenly become inspired again, I can't help but wonder if I was supposed to continue being supportive and let her come to this conclusion on her own.

TL;DR: Girlfriend is overly stressed about PhD and not moving forward. Should I continue to support?

Submitted February 20, 2021 at 06:08PM by DrTommyNotMD https://ift.tt/2ZBXsgI