I was married for seven years and have two daughters. I've been looking back on what went wrong and I felt the need to write out this long story so I can get some perspective on how it ended. For context, I work full time about fifty hours a week and my wife Sara (fake name), was a stay at home mom. This story gets very weird and has a lot of unbelievable parts to it.
Two years before my marriage ended, my wife played an online game with this guy named John (fake name). She said that she played with his whole family. She played with his wife Kayla (fake name) and their two children. I thought nothing of it at first. I did raise a question about it when she seemed to only play with him every night that I had off work. I felt a bit jealous that my wife spent time with him on the voice chat rather than talking to me. I never really voiced my concern because I didn't think it was a big deal. Were both very avid Christians and I've always trusted my wife.
Sara and Joe started working on a comic book together. When I asked if I could get involved she got really quiet and I didn't push the issue. She drew some character sketches and they emailed each other story ideas. I asked Sara if she would mind drawing something for me and she got angry. Two weeks later she handed me a drawing and said that I, "made her hate drawing". That made me feel bad and confused. It seemed like that was an exclusive thing that I was not allowed to know anything about.
They continued to play their game together for about a year. One day she tells me that John and Kayla are getting a divorce. I didn't really react to this news because I didn't know them. Then Sara said there twelve year old son had run away from home and was found at an airport. Sara said that their son was out of his mind and wondering around. I thought that was crazy and said that id wish them the best.
Sara told me that John was a stay at home dad who home schooled his kids. Social services took their kids out of his home because they claimed that it was an unclean and unsafe environment and none of the children's school work ever got turned in. When she told me this I thought that John seemed like a slob and asked why she's getting so involved in their life. she dismissed my concerns as jealousy.
Then Sara told me that John and Kayla's daughter, said something to a doctor that caused the doctor to think that she was in danger. This caused the son and daughter to be taken from the home. I said that sounded really bad and asked why she was still talking to them. She said that their daughter was just being coached to lie. I asked how she knew that and she said that John told her that Kayla was trying to get back at him for something. I said that that sounds weird and became very concerned that she was taking sides in this issue. She dismissed my issues as jealousy.
Then my wife got really depressed because John stopped playing their game together. I asked if she still played with Kayla, she didn't seem to care about her, only John. After a long period of sadness she told me that John tried to kill himself, but the gun he used misfired and she was afraid he was dead (I later believed this to be a lie). She became so upset and worried that she started checking obituary's in his town (he lived in a different state) to find out if he was dead. She was inconsolable. She checked Facebook to track down any family he had who could tell her where he was. I asked why she didn't seem to care what Kayla was going through and she ignored me.
Then Sara and I took a family trip to the beach and she told me that she had sent some emails to him. She told me that she just had to send them out just in case he was ignoring her. She seemed very upset over John being gone and said that she "really needed me". I was willing to do all I could but didn't know how to take everything. one day we were sitting on the bed in the beach house we rented when she got and email from Johns mom, Abby (fake name). I asked how she found his mom and she said that she researched Johns family by last name until she found his closest relative.
Abby told Sara that John was in Jail for r***ing his daughter! I was so dumbfounded and grossed out that I didn't say anything. I then asked Sara if she would stop talking to him. She said that not only would she continue talking to him, she wanted to print off those emails she wrote and mail it to his jail address. She wanted to do it so badly that she found a local post office to mail them from. I know that most people would get mad and tell her to not do it, but I was trusting and stupid. I later found those emails and realized that she was pouring her heart out to him and said she cried that he was gone.
She mailed the letter and gave him our address and her phone number. Apparently, in his state their is a phone service that allows inmates in jail to make and receive phone calls. She took phone calls a wrote letters for months. If he ever called while I was around she would tell him that I was there. She played it off as making casual conversation. She also kept talking to Abby just as much as she did John. Abby Supported her son and didn't believe the charges against him. Abby believed that Kayla put her daughter up to everything and Kayla was an evil person. Abby convinced Sara that John was innocent and Kayla messed his life up on purpose.
So I finally got very mad. I told her that I was very uncomfortable with what she was doing. I told her that I didn't like it the whole time but she dismissed me as being jealous and insisted that they were just friends. one day I got really mad because she wasn't listing to me. I called my parents for support and they explained to her that I wasn't crazy and the situation didn't look good. she still didn't seem to get it, so I asked her mom to help me out (Her mom lived with us). Her mom said that she had noticed that something was wrong. She noticed how Sara would sneak away in her room for hours at a time and ignore our children (Sara and I have two young daughters together). She knew that something didn't seem normal but she didn't want to pry. Sara's mom explained to her that I had a right to be jealous. she pretended like she understood but didn't stop.
One day things got very tense, and I asked Sara to stop again and she said that I was being emotionally abusive. She said that I was making a self fulfilling prophecy of her cheating. Bear in mind that I was dumb enough to let this go on for eight months at this point with out saying much. She started gas lighting me. she convinced me that I needed to change my "abusive" behavior. I believed her and I bought it. She manipulated me into changing a lot.
This all came to a point when we were about to buy a house of our own. We finally got a house on my credit because she's never had a job. I wanted her to get a job but she didn't want to. One day we were fixing something on the new house and Abby (Johns mom) called. Sara said that I was home and Abby said, "oh well I'm sorry girl you be careful now if he does anything to you". I just stood there in shock and asked what she was talking about. Sara said that she knew I would react that way. I said that of course I'm reacting that way because she's making sound like I'm an abusive creep. She dismissed what I said and acted like I was crazy.
I sensed that she was going to leave and tried my best to make her happy. It was stupid but I always believed that she would stop having an emotional affair. I thought I had worked everything out. We talked and she told me she had stopped talking to John and Abby. She held my hand and told me she loved me one night while we were drinking sleepy time tea. We went to bed and I woke up at one thirty in the morning to her packing her stuff. She took the kids out of state and pried our youngest right out of my arms. I cried and begged God for help. I wanted to kill myself.
We live in North Carolina and she ran off to Michigan. That a twelve hour drive one way. Our kids are four and five years old. That trip is hard on them at there age. She told me that she was awake for thirty six hours before she ran away. I was terrified that my kids were going to die. Then she brought them back a week later and abandoned them. She only calls them once a week. I'm raising them on my own. I got her to confess that she was in love with John and believed that he would be there new step dad. I was able to call the jail where he is at and found out that he has twenty charges, nine first degree r**e charges, six oral r**e charges and six lude acts with a minor. He has sixteen million dollars in bond. And got her to say that she wanted that man to raise our kids. I am terrified for our kids safety. She also said that the criminal justice system makes more money by convicting people. She believes that the system is against him and that's why they have a ninety five percent conviction rate.
All she did over the last year and half was nothing like the person I married. She used to be so trustworthy. I loved her and in a way I always will love her. Looking back on my behavior, I know that I was not abusive. I took me a long time to realize that she was trying to make me into a bad guy. I was a chump and I couldn't see or stop what was right in front of me. Now I'm left here as a broken person. Most morning I wake up with crippling depression. The only thing keeping me going is my daughters. Some days I think ill never find anyone else. I don't know if I deserve anyone else. I feel like I have no mouth and I must scream.
TL;DR: My wife gaslighted me and made me question my own sanity. She convinced me that her cheating was my fault. She wants my daughters to be raised by a child predator.
Submitted February 20, 2021 at 01:24AM by Wholesome_Jack https://ift.tt/2OXZvd1
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