My (M/27) best friend (F/28) Has a Difficult Time Communicating When She Gets Overwhelmed. How Can I Help?

For the nearly 10 years since I've known my best friend, I've felt like she was holding back. Often, what would happen is she’d go through a period of radio silence, and then I’d find out that she had been busy holding up the world of the people around her (usually an abusive/neglectful boyfriend) while she drowned.

For a little while, I thought that maybe she was holding me specifically at arm’s length. That didn’t check out, because even though she was friends with a lot of the mean girls I knew in high school, she’s always been the nicest, most reliable person I know and seems to genuinely want to know me. Eventually I found out that it was because she didn’t know what to say. When things were at their worst, she didn’t know how to say “I’m not living right now. I’m reacting out of panic, and everything is falling apart.”

Obviously, I can’t make her say anything. However, she’s self aware now and being honest about her challenge here. I think at the very least, I can create a situation where she’s more likely to communicate by creating a hospitable, open environment. How can I do that?

TL;DR: My best friend gets overwhelmed when things are really bad, and has trouble communicating. How can I help?

Submitted January 03, 2021 at 06:50PM by Speedygonzales24 https://ift.tt/3b7fmyQ