I 29f live in an expensive city and have had to endure roommates for years. I love my boyfriend and definitely see a future with him, we’re pretty in-sync and resolve most arguments quickly and without a lot of drama, etc. We were friends before and have been official for about one year. Currently we both live in separate three-roommate households in the same neighborhood and both of our leases are up at the same time (March 1st).
I’m burnt out from roommates and I’ve decided it’s time for me to live alone even though that will be a bit of a financial stretch. So far every studio I’ve looked at is missing a key amenity like an oven or bathroom sink, and I’m accepting I'll have to sacrifice something in order to live alone.
My boyfriend has been planning on signing his current lease again, his spot is massive, has two bathrooms, a magnificent view of the mountains, and he’s friends with his current roommates (L and J).
Here’s where the conflict comes in. Last week my boyfriend’s one roommate J surprisingly announced he would not sign again , leaving his spacious and large- studio sized room open. My bf has suggested I move in and we take that room. Leaving his old room as a spare. My bf and L have less than a week to decide if they stay or go. Me moving in would be the reason they stay.
I’m torn, it feels too soon to move in and I was ready to live alone for a bit. However his current place would be the same price as a shitty studio and it I wouldn't have to sacrifice any amenities and is close to work (i must walk or bus). There would be a spare bedroom to retreat to if I need space, and BF has made it clear he will give me solitude if needed. Getting a one bedroom really isn't an option (too lazy to explain).
I love him, and I’m basically friends with L as well. I’m not particularly worried about roommate conflict (for reference I’m so burnt out from roommates and eager to live alone because I’ve had horrible luck living with others. I’ve lived with a literal witch, I’ve lived with a girl who would steal, and my current roommates are filthy and the one has moved her boyfriend in free of charge) but I am worried I might get sick of my boyfriend if I’m waking up and coming home to him daily. We spend a ton of time together (about 5 days a week), and 95% of the time I miss him when we’re apart, buuuut I still like having my own place separate from him where I can just be totally alone from time to time and I enjoy sleeping alone on weeknights. This will be the first time either of us has lived with a S.O.
Right now I'm leaning towards moving in, but I'm still hesitant. I would greatly appreciate advice, insight, etc from the lovely folks of reddit. Thank you all for reading my rambling, chaotic post!
TLDR; It feels like I’m between a rock and a hard place. I either get a small studio that will most definitely be missing key features, or I move in with my BF and our friend/roommate and sacrifice some autonomy but gain a huge, nice, modern apartment for a good price. It feels a little soon to move in, but I feel live we will eventually move in together anyways. This is both of our first times living with a romantic partner.
Submitted January 29, 2021 at 11:52AM by woodlandshowers https://ift.tt/3r5dBXG
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