My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 years. We got together during high school, and we are each other's first and only girlfriend/boyfriend. My boyfriend is an extrovert. He has tons of friends from different circles, and a lot of very close friends as well.
As for me, I'm a nurse in a prestigious hospital and last year, when the lockdown started, I was given an opportunity to work in a COVID ward, with a significant increase in pay. But the catch is, we'll be staying in isolated quarters within the hospital complex this whole time. Since we cannot risk infecting our family or friends, we're not allowed to go home. I discussed this with my boyfriend and we both agreed that I should take it. The increased pay would definitely help us for our future since we are already planning to get married soon.
My employment in the COVID ward started last year around March, and this January, I was finally allowed home. This was the time my boyfriend confessed to me that he told another girl he likes her. Last year, due to my work, we weren't able to meet at all. We did call and message each other regularly but not as often as before since I had long hours at work and needed rest. Since he was sad and missing me, he kept himself busy with work, his hobbies, and his friends. He has a lot of close friends (girls and guys), so it's normal for him to sometimes meet up with them both as a group, and one-on-one. He has this close friend who he spent quite a lot of time together (as friends) while I wasn't around, and he found that this girl will be moving to a different state for work. It was then that he told her that he likes her. When my boyfriend told me this this january, he said that he just got confused with his feelings. He felt a minor attraction, and probably got even more confused since this girl was leaving. But he later on clarified with this girl that they're just friends (btw, the girl didn't like him back).
Now, he realized his mistake, and is doing everything he can to make it up for me. He's been more caring, does things for me, and pays more attention to my needs. I do feel that he genuinely loves me and is doing his best to make up for his mistake.
Although I feel his sincerity in fixing our relationship and I do appreciate him confessing this to me, I cant help but feel so betrayed by this. I don't understand why he had to wait so long to tell me. We've been together a long time and celebrated all our major life milestones together. I thought his love for me was stronger than this. I'm a very calculated person so I don't make mistakes like this, so I can't really understand his perspective. Ever since we got together, I always made sure not to be too close to guys to protect our relationship (of course I have guy friends, not just very very close). I was loyal, faithful and devoted to him for 10 years, him and only him, and it's very difficult for me to accept that he wasn't. He broke my trust.
I do love him so so so much but I'm really having a hard time accepting his past actions. It hurts me so much. Im crying everyday, couldn't focus at work, questioning my life's purpose, etc. I'm going on a downhill spiral. I'm even considering leaving him because I can't seem to move forward. Every time I see him, what he did automatically comes to mind.
I read somewhere that it's normal for people to get attracted to others while in a relationship, but him telling her he likes her was I think out of line. Didn't he think of me while he was with the girl? Did it even cross his mind how I would react if I found out?
So my question is, is it normal for people in committed relationships to be confused about their feelings? Especially after 10 years of being together? Am I overreacting? Or is this not a big of a deal as I thought? Do I give him another chance?
P.S. During our 10 years together, we didn't have any major issues. This is the biggest one.
EDIT: He says it was just a spur of the moment slip of the tongue/ thinking out loud when he told her he likes her, not actually 'confessing' his feelings for her.
TL;DR My boyfriend of 10 years told another girl he likes her while I was staying in an isolated facility for work. He broke my trust, should we still continue our relationship?
Submitted January 27, 2021 at 10:11PM by lalaland24680 https://ift.tt/3ahMlia
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