My boyfriend (M21) and I (F20) have been dating for about a year. Because of the pandemic we've moved in together and have now been living together for about 10 months. In the beginning of our relationship he was so excited about sex with me because he's never had a girlfriend want to have sex with him so often. We used to have sex two to three times in a day and now it's once a week or possibly even once every two weeks. I see sex as an emotional thing that makes me feel loved and connected to him, so this has been upsetting me a lot and has created other problems for us in our relationship. It is hard to be a female trying to ask for sex from a male and getting "rejected" as it's always been the male asking for sex in any of my other relationships. He also said one time that it would be hot if I acted like I didn't want it, which hurt my feelings because that's what he would complain about his past girlfriends doing. After saying this once he "changed his mind" and said he loves me how I am and disliked the way he felt like sex was so unnatainaeble. I have talked about this problem with him several times and told him the way I feel about rarely having sex and he has told me that he's insecure about the way he looks right now (as he gained a bit of stomach weight during quarantine). He's also told me that he's stressed or tired but he doesn't work right now due to the pandemic and we've just been able to do whatever we want for the last few months. I've been trying to go on runs with him, go hiking with him, work out with him, and do everything in my power to help him feel better about himself, but nothing is helping. I know he feels badly about it and he's thought about going to the doctor to ask if his sex drive is normal, but then decides not to. I'm just not sure what to do or how to go about this without making him feel worse. I do have a vibrator that I use every now and then when I'm wanting sex purely for an orgasm, but it feels like our connection isn't as strong when we aren't having sex on a regular basis. It is starting to really hurt me to feel rejected so much and we've been fighting more. When we have sex every other day or every day we rarely fight and our relationship feels perfect. Lately we've been having little arguments that don't matter throughout the day and I feel it's mostly my fault because I'm less happy without sex every couple days. I'm not sure what to say when I talk to him about this as the problem hasn't gotten better and I don't know if this problem will go away or get worse with time, as it's just been getting worse. He has also been insecure about the size of his penis lately (which he had always been proud of) because he thinks my ex boyfriends was bigger. I think this is just because he's been feeling insecure lately and it isn't a huge deal but I've been telling him I'm very satisfied with the size and it is perfect for me. I'm not sure what to do but this is slowly all eating away at me and making me feel worse about myself.
EDIT: for the few people asking about porn neither of us watch it because neither of us would want the other to see someone else in that way. I completely respect anyone else who doesn't feel that way but for us that's what we decided very early on in our relationship
TL;DR - my boyfriend has a much lower sex drive than me and it's been getting to be more of an issue over time. I'm not sure how to talk to him about this or help him with feeling more secure within himself if that's what he needs.
Submitted January 28, 2021 at 07:40AM by wake-n-bake69 https://ift.tt/3r2mO3g
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