We've been a couple for 7 years and I do love him.
Unfortunately in response to a stressful and difficult time between us he chose to cheat on me. And not tell me. I found out months later. Since then, I've been unable to be sexually active with him (although I chose to stay and try to work things out).
That was coming up on a year and a half ago. When I first found out, I was livid and we had some huge fights. In one fight, he said he had an affair with her specifically because she was so hot. She's 100% opposite of me. Tiny yet curvy, younger and beautiful. Anyway, somehow that, on top of everything else, killed my sex drive.
On top of it, I've gained 10 lbs (and I was already clearly a lot heavier than his preferred "fantasy girl"). It's just a mix of stress/lockdown/mild depression/age I guess. But it's made me EVEN LESS interested in having sex with him.
He keeps saying "we'll take it slow", "we can just make out", "we can just cuddle naked at first". The truth is, I cannot even imagine having sex with him anymore. Even though I love him and want to be with him. It's been a year and a half and I don't want him touching my body. I don't want to be naked with him.
Yes of course I can work hard and lose weight (I'd probably have to lose about 30 lbs now to start feeling confident). But that's so much easier said than done. Believe me, I've tried. And the hormonal aspect of it is a real b**ch. But that's only ONE part of the equation. I know who this woman is who he had an affair with. I can't compete with her. And I know I am not in competition with her, but damn I feel ugly and inadequate. I can't even imagine having sex with him again.
Is there a way to work through this? Does it spell the end of times for us? I'm aware that going for 1.5 years (especially for him) without sex is not good for our relationship at all, but I honestly just....can't. I can't have sex with him. S.O.S.
tldr: he cheated and now we are both celibate and miserable.
Submitted January 29, 2021 at 11:58AM by One-Calligrapher-955 https://ift.tt/3pxIhAF
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