Right now my (23F) husband (24M) has been playing video games for the past 3+ hours like he does every night, and I’m just wondering why he always does this. He has already played for at least 3 hours already today and basically uses all his free time to play League. We have been married for three years, dated for two. He virtually never played before we got married.
Right now he has just started a master’s program and so I am supporting him by working two part time jobs (couldn’t get a full time one) that add up to around 45-50 hours a week. Mondays through Thursdays for me are like 10 hours and then the rest on Fridays and sometimes weekends.
For some reason when I am not working I expect him to want to spend time with me, but instead he just wants to play video games. I would say “oh I get it cause he is stressed out from school” but he was literally bragging to his mom and brother the other day about how he has 1/3 of the homework he had in his undergrad while still attending as a full time student.
I’m just really tired and feeling like he is just with me for sex and financial support. During undergrad we both were in school but I always took more credits than him AND worked at least part time. He has worked occasionally but not like me. He claimed it was cause he can’t handle that many classes and work and still get good grades, but he just spent hours a day playing League and Minecraft. At first he claimed it was to “spend time with his brothers and friends” (online discord stuff) but he spends just as much time playing alone now.
I just don’t understand why he (and a lot of guys I know, and some girls) love video games so much that they neglect everything else in their life and don’t seem to care. It just feels like I am living with a leech who occasionally asks how he can “support me more in the home and be an equal partner” but then when I ask him to do the dishes he just washes plates and bowls and none of the silverware (even though we have plenty of clean dish-ware but zero clean silverware)—but I digress.
I want to ask him to get a part time job or something to help take some of the stress off me (both of my jobs are stressful and I have to make all the financial decisions), but in the past he tanks in other areas when he is doing that and at least playing video games he still gets good grades somehow.
I guess I really just feel unappreciated and have been crying for the past bit in our bedroom while he plays in the living room. And seriously guys, I never cry. Like, ever. I have even felt at times I must be a sociopath for not crying so at least I’m less of a sociopath now it seems! Bright sides.
We played a board game for a bit after I finished work, but then when I wanted to just talk about stuff (he loves talking about politics and religion—think that one guy who annoys you at work) he went to playing League by himself instead. I expressed my distaste for the fact that he was ignoring me for a game, but he didn’t seem to care. Basically he only wants to spend time with me if we are doing something he likes, like board games or sex.
I’m feeling sad. Idk. This post went into a lame rant, I know. Just wanted to know anyone’s thoughts on my situation and questions. Plus I’m feeling lonely, obviously.
Edit: I just realized I needed to clarify something. My husband and I agreed he wouldn’t work during grad school since he thought he would be busy (I originally thought he could do like 10hrs a week working or take more credits to finish faster but after we talked we decided I would just work), but he isn’t since he can finish all his hw and still have 5+ hrs to play video games. So that’s why I have started reconsidering it again. It’s just hard to be working two jobs knowing he is just playing video games
Edit: thanks for everyone who gave good advice on how to work better for the relationship and communicate. I want to make it clear that I love my husband and I want to be with him, and that this problem is more recent. This is not a fake post and I will not be divorcing my husband. Thanks for the honest feedback though and I will definitely be reevaluating things knowing that some people wouldn’t take this crap and that it’s okay to push back.
TL;DR my husband spends all his free time on video games and I feel like marriage is a joke
Submitted January 29, 2021 at 08:49PM by Curiosity-Sailor https://ift.tt/39wkmfn
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