My (28M) GF (28F) of 4 years wants to separate in order to be alone for herself and grow. We also live together

This just happened a few days so it’s still fairly fresh.

We’ve been together for four years. The first 1.5 years of our relationship were cross-country long distance. We are fairly independent people with our own careers and friends so the distance wasn’t an issue at all. We made the most out of it by traveling to meet up around the country. After 1.5 years of long distance, we moved in together. For 2 years I believe our relationship grew and we were becoming comfortable. We have had occasional talks of engagement and marriage and not having kids, etc. We have similar values and ideas of what future we want. We really had a strong relationship and nothing really slowed us down.

Then the pandemic started and things got shaken up a bit. I’ve been WFH since March 2020 and she actually lost her job. She is a career driven woman and her job was a big part of her identity, even til today she still hasn’t found a job that matched the status of her old job.

Because of covid we spend a lot of time with each other. In the first few months we were pretty productive by going on walks, cooking together, just enjoying each other’s company. But since fall of last year, I saw small fractures in our relationship. We had more arguments about just the smallest things in life. There are times she mentioned me being negative and how it can be exhausting for her. About a month ago, we had another argument where she brought up that we made need a break but then quickly took it back. We made up and moved on. But I think in the back of my mind I knew something was up.

Since she’s been unemployed and spending more time with herself, she seemed to have become more aware of her inner self. She talked about her growth and our growth more and more often and she also wanted us to confront any trauma we may have had in the past. I’ve always tried to support her in that but I also know she has a girl friend who she reaches out to on a more personal level and I understand that it’s “their thing.” I’ll admit I took all of this for granted and never invested fully into this.

A few days ago my gf sat me down and told me in tears she wants to be alone to work on herself. I was not surprised but also surprised if that makes sense. I asked if it’s possible at all for us to be together but let her have more space by me moving out or something. But she said no, she’s determined not to be in a relationship at all because she wants to figure out what’s going on within herself and learn how to love herself. I’m obviously devastated and heartbroken as I actually thought she’d be the one I’m marrying. We cried and held each other and eventually I accepted that this is the end. But it’s still hurts, a lot.

We currently live together and the nature of our lease requires us to pay rent for 2 months after breaking the lease. We are currently broken up and we do plan on going our separate ways after the lease ends but we are on good terms as we still love each other. But it’s also a bit of a weird situation. We still act like a couple with physical touch and occasional kiss. It feels like we living on a countdown and that we only got two months to enjoy being with each other.

I guess at the end of this long winded post (sorry!) I’m wondering what to do? I’ve tried to talk her into staying with me. But I realized I just need to respect her wishes and let her go.

Has anyone here been in a situation like this? Where you still live with the ex partner you love and he/she still loves you back? Honestly, if you made it this far, thank you for reading.

TL;DR: gf of four years broke up with me because she wants to be alone to work on herself. We still live together and will be for another 2 months. We still act like a couple, knowing that we are broken up and in 2 months will move out to separate places.

Submitted January 27, 2021 at 08:52AM by meowthesnail https://ift.tt/3qXB2SH