I [29M] was not invited to be a part of one of my best friend's [29M] wedding party. Not sure how to handle it

TL:DR: wasn't invited to be my bestfriend of 12 years groomsman, but his fiance's little brother, who he has known for 1 year and doesn't really associate with, was.

I apologize in advance for using the pronoun he and his a lot. There's 5 guys in this story, myself included, and I know a few of them browse this sub, so keeping it vague. Names changed when applicable.

So my best friend, we'll call him Blue, is getting married this summer (awesome) to a girl who I'm fairly certain truly loves him (also awesome). I've been very vocally supportive of their relationship, and even recently helped them find a new house that would be great for raising a family closer to where our core friend group is.

Yesterday he invited the boys over for some cards and some drinks, so I volunteer to go into the city, pick up another good friend of ours, we'll call jim Eric, and drive 30 minutes out of town to Blue's place. This is fairly standard practice as we don't live in a major urban center and I'm fortunate enough to be able to be the DD when we go visit Blue out in the boonies.

So the night gets started, the other core half of our friend group comes over after a dinner they were at and we're having a lovely evening together. During a hand of cards I ask what the best joke everyone had heard that week was, just to break things up a bit. One of the guys who arrived later says, "Definitely NOT the joke Eric made in the groomsmen's chat yesterday" and we all had a laugh and Eric's expense. He got us back later, don't worry.

After waiting a couple of hands in quiet contemplation, I excuse myself to get a glass of water and have a smoke. I didn't want to leave right as he made the comment, as to not appear hurt by it. But it did hurt and honestly had left me a bit shocked and irritable. This is the first time I had heard anything about the wedding party. So, I did my best to put on a good face and make sure everyone was continuing to have a good time.

When I came back inside, I was headed back to the man cave when Blue's fiance, Heather, called me from their living room saying she needed some advice on something. It was silly, she had wanted to know if I thought the TV there would look better in X or Y position, based on how the sun shone through their windows. I picked up pretty quickly that this was just a distraction. A lot of the discussion points she wanted to know about were things we had already talked about. But I entertained it and after 5 or so minutes, Heather checks her phone, and says, "ah thank you for the insight. You're always so helpful with this sort of thing". Probably had been given the all clear from Blue.

I grab a couple of beers from. The fridge for the boys and make my way back to the man cave to cheers of, "There he is!", "Heather asking for more furniture management advise?" And other similar jabs. No big deal, I roll with it and act intentionally oblivious to the not so subtle air that had settled in the room.

We carried on, had a good time, said our goodbyes and I begin the drive back to Eric's place. I ask him straight up if the wedding party had been set already. He tells me it had, and it was him, the two other guys we were with, Blues childhood best friend, and Heather's younger brother. Eric told me that Heather distracted me so Blue could tell the boys to stfu about any wedding talk.

Heather's brother is a bit of an odd ball. He's a stoner, which is whatever, but has never really made an effort to be part of our friend group. This is fine as well, everyone is entitled to have their own friends. It is just completely mystifying to me that my spot (I assume) got bumped for someone as disconnected from Blue as Heather's little brother. I just can't connect the dots as to a) why he got an invite to be a groomsman, and b) why i was never informed that I wasn't going to be one.

Its their day at the end of everything and I'm happy to be invited to share that day with them. I was one of the first people he had told he was going to propose, even had me take the engagement photos for him. Now I'm feeling a bit bummed that I've been excluded, but I understand that at the end of it all, it's his day and I'm going to support him in anyway I can.

Just looking for some advise on if and how I bring up my feeling of exclusion to him, without making it seem like I want to steal the spot light from him. Any and all insight is appreciated!

WCDIWWT

Submitted January 30, 2021 at 04:50PM by WeCanDootIfWeWantTo https://ift.tt/3pubnRn