Hey all, first time posting here so not sure what to expect.
I suppose some background information helps. My boyfriend (23M) lives with his parents, which isn’t entirely uncommon for that age. He got laid off from his job in May, which is understandable due to the pandemic. He doesn’t have a car, also something that is decently common. I, on the other hand, have a full-time job, an apartment with one roommate, and a car that runs well.
We started dating in September of 2020. At first, I didn’t mind picking him up and taking him back to my place (he lives in another town 30 mins away) to stay for a few days, get dropped off back home, then repeat sometime the next week. I liked him a lot, and the drive was worth it if it meant we got to hang out. Eventually I started paying for all the food that we ate, because he never had money. His mom sent him some funds to help cover the costs while he was staying with me, which was fine at first, but came much less frequently over time.
Everyone in his life has been encouraging him to get another job. He tells me all the time that his mom nags him to no end about it - and rightfully so. But the thing is, I just don’t know if he’s motivated enough to even do anything about it. He stays up until 4 or 5 in the morning playing video games or drinking with friends and sleeps until the same time the next afternoon. I work 8-4, and he usually texts me good morning around 3pm. Literally half my entire day has happened by that point.
He sleeps through any alarms he sets for himself apparently. I don’t know how many times I’ve told him if he stays up til 5, he should set an alarm for 10, and then stay up the rest of the day and I’m sure he’ll be tired by bedtime. It’s not even an option for him. He just continues to sleep until the middle of the afternoon and feel sorry for himself about it, without ever doing anything to change.
The bottom line is - I’m just tired of having to drive my bf around, pay for my bf’s food, basically try to guide him in the right steps of Responsibility. I’ve already gotten there with myself. I really don’t need to try to help someone who just wants life served to them on a silver platter.
At first I was okay with it. We were freshly dating, the pandemic was happening, whatever. Everyone needs to find their footing. It’s been almost 4 months and he hasn’t changed anything at all. I’m starting to have regrets about our relationship. While there’s nothing necessarily explosive to be unsatisfied with, I’m afraid I just didn’t sign up to be supporting another grown man without anything in return. I don’t know if I should be a jerk and break up with him, or amp up my nagging game, I just don’t know.
TL;DR nothing has changed since I started dating my boyfriend who doesn’t have a car/job/house a few months ago and I’m not sure if that’s what I’m willing to actually handle.
Submitted January 04, 2021 at 02:03PM by bokunopupa https://ift.tt/2JLBnIr
No comments:
Post a Comment