My [24F] boyfriend [25M] lost a fight he started with another of my friends [30-ishM]. He is wanting sympathy from me, but I kind of feel like he deserved it.

I know the title makes me seem pretty terrible, but please hear me out.

​

My boyfriend "Thomas" and I went out last night to see some friends last night. Unrelated, but I just want to note, the bars in the downtown area of our city have all gone to outdoor seating in distanced table, and the people we were seeing were all people we are in contact with anyway through work, so I don't think we were taking any extra risks by meeting up with them.

​

Thomas and I were kind of already in a shitty mood due to having a small fight earlier in the day, but we were both trying to put it away for the sake of enjoying our time. The friends we met were three of Thomas's coworkers, who I don't really know well and I was feeling a little left out. At the bar, I saw one of my own coworkers, "Carl".

​

Carl is just a good coworker and generally good casual friend, and I was glad to have someone else I know, so I asked Carl if he wanted to join us. He came by and talked for a couple minutes, but didn't really stay and said he was going to be going home anyway. After Carl walked away, Thomas seemed pissed and asked me who he was. I just told him Carl is a coworker that I get along with and we just chatted for a couple minutes. Thomas was still angry and said I seemed "really excited" to see Carl, and I told him I was but only because he is a friend I could talk to and not feel so left out for a minute.

​

Carl was stepping out of the seating area and about to walk away, Thomas, being pretty drunk and upset, wound up going out after him and yelled to him to ask who he was. Carl was understandably confused and asked him something like "Who the fuck are you?" Thomas said "I'm Contest-choice's boyfriend." Carl just said he was walking away and turned around to leave, but Thomas, ignoring me trying to hold him, broke off and ran after Carl and punched him in the back of the head.

​

Carl then just turned around and slugged Thomas in the face hard enough to knock him down. Carl just asked him "are we done?", and I jut told him to get going while I ran up to collect Thomas.

​

Once I got him home Thomas was fuming about the whole incident. I helped him put some ice to his face, because he has a pretty good shiner. He keeps talking about what a massive asshole Carl was and seems like he is kind of baiting me to agree with him. I've kind of mentioned to him that he was the one who hit Carl first, but Thomas gets pissed and says he didn't hit Carl that hard. Thomas is kind of trying to paint it like he just wanted to talk and he got jumped by Carl, and he is getting mad at me for not going along with that narrative.

Thomas keeps asking me why I am not taking his side in this, and I want to be sympathetic, but really I feel like he was kind of asking for it.

​

Am I being a bad partner for not being more sympathetic to him in this situation? Did I do something wrong?

​

TL;DR: Boyfriend started a fight with one of my friends and got slugged. He wants me to be on his side, but I kinda feel like he was asking for it. Did I do wrong?

Submitted January 05, 2021 at 05:28PM by Contest-Choice https://ift.tt/3hOz9Vm