How to tell my [26F] friend [23F] that I am evaluating continuing our friendship due to her inappropriate public outburst?

I’ve known my friend, Anna** for a little over a year now. Overall, it’s been nice having a girl friend close by because I moved last year and didn’t know anyone except my boyfriend. We mostly just texted and met for dinner and happy hour 1-2 times a month. There were a few orange flags I noticed early on, i.e. I thought she complained about her boyfriend too often and gossiped about her best friend, but I looked passed them because she was in a toxic living situation with her past roommate at the time and of course the pandemic, knowing that made and continues to make people irritable, stressed, and overall just not themselves.

Well, early last month, Anna texts me saying something happened at brunch that afternoon. After I asked what happened, she shares she got blackout drunk. I asked for more details. She said her order was wrong two times, the manager didn’t offer to help or comp her meal, and she not only threatened to sue the waiter, but deport him.

At this point, I’m in awe. This is cringe-worthy, awful behavior, which I have never witnessed with her when we ate out. While she did text she felt remorse for her actions, my reaction stayed the same: mortified, that this person is my “friend”. Looking back, I really should have called her out, but instead I wrote back “Wow” because I didn’t know what to say in the moment. After her texts that day, I began to distance myself.

We hadn’t texted since Dec 7th until today, when she texted happy new year and asked if we were ok. I haven’t answered yet because I’m at a loss for what to even say to her. I don’t want to be friends with someone who is not only verbally abusive, but prejudice as well. As for just not answering at all, it’d be a clean break since we have no mutual friends. Also, I believe Anna has a drinking problem, though this certainly does not excuse or lessen the severity of her behavior that day.

Should I explain why I am distancing myself from her? Is there even a polite way to do that? Should I flat out say I don’t want to be friends anymore? Am I being too hard on her? I highly doubt this, but would like other opinions. Any advice for what to text back, if at all, would be appreciated.

TL;DR: Friend of a year had a very inappropriate public outburst. Questioning continuing the friendship. Do I tell her why I am distancing myself, don’t give her the reason and just tell her I am, or just stop talking to her all together?

**Name changed

Submitted January 02, 2021 at 04:50PM by tatertot94 https://ift.tt/38aHkYS