I broke my neck a few weeks after I graduated high school. I was about to go off to college and finally leave my home and family. I instead ended up being hospitalized for 3 months relearning how to live as a severely handicapped kid. The funny thing is the second I felt my neck snap I knew my life was over. when I woke up in the hospital I didn’t even so much as cry. I was pretty hyper aware of my situation when I woke, I wasn’t in any sort of denial I knew what my life would be like. And funny enough I was right. Simple everyday things we do without thinking suddenly were difficult tasks I can’t walk, I can’t use my hands much, I can’t do any of the things I’m used to/want to do. I’ve never had a girlfriend, I’ve never had sex, I’ve never even kissed a girl and now how am I even going to get a girlfriend when I can’t even take care of menial everyday tasks. It really hurts my heart knowing I’m never going to get married, have kids, or even just knowing that my feelings could even be reciprocated by a girl. All I’ve ever wanted was for someone to feel the same way I feel about them. I’m so sick of just being alive I’m stuck in between my parents fighting and their passive aggressive BS and I know I’m for sure not helping. I’m sick of being sick all the time and having very bad pain all over my body every single day medicine doesn’t help sometimes it hurts so bad I can’t even get out of bed. How am I supposed to get a job when doing nothing all day already exhausts me? I’m just so done. And no I don’t want to see a therapist it won’t change my problems.
TDLR: I’m sick of being handicapped and alone.
Submitted November 30, 2020 at 07:37PM by jth199 https://ift.tt/36n3uG8
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