I (22M) live with my parents (55+) and my dad is paranoid that I had and abandoned a baby and am promiscuous

Let me start this off completely frankly: I am a VIRGIN, so there is no possible way for me to have had a baby with someone, let alone be a deadbeat dad.

My dad thinks I'm not a virgin because 1) back in high school my best friend was a girl (let's call her Maria) and 2) my dad (to his regret) had his first child right around the beginning of college.

Maria would visit us and we would play smash (THE VIDEO GAME!!!). We were kind of inseparable, so I get why people would think she's my GF. Granted, we were close enough that at one point I opened the door to let her in while shirtless, but we didn't bang.

Anyway, fast-forward to college, and my dad gives me a couple of calls saying he thinks he saw Maria with a baby, and that he was pretty sure she had one. I assured him that, no, Maria's older sister had a baby, which Maria occasionally took care of, and Maria's finishing her degree. He kind of kept pushing that she had a baby, as if he was certain and it was somehow important that I knew this.

I haven't talked to Maria in a long time. He stopped bringing her up, and whenever my mom brought up Maria, I would say we grew apart (I don't really want to hang out with her anymore) and my dad would try to change topic of conversation.

Now my mom found a shitton of my condoms from college (I took these because they were cheaper from college and bc hopefully after corona there'll be some use for them), and my dad made the comment that it's "interesting I didn't go on a walk today" (implying I didn't have access to these condoms so no reason to go on a walk). Basically, he thinks I'm out there slingin' puss 5 days per week.

I mean, have they seen me lmao? If anything I give off massive gay vibes, that's why I had a girl BF in high school.

Anyway, the reason this is an issue is: 1) I don't want my dad to think I'm a deadbeat dad. That's incredibly stupid and presumptive. But he's also so technologically illiterate he won't accept FB evidence and I don't want to call Maria directly because I'm not friends with her anymore 2) My parents and sister are Christian and will be disappointed if they think I had sex before marriage (I plan to, but I don't want that to be a topic of conversation or for this to be why they think I have had sex before marriage).

TL;DR: I am a virgin. I want to convince my parents I'm not a deadbeat dad and I'm not promiscuous because they'll be disappointed in me if I am (they're christian/catholic), but they won't accept FB evidence of Maria graduating college without a baby. But I also don't want to contact Maria (the girl my dad thinks I had a baby with) because we're not close friends anymore.

Submitted November 28, 2020 at 05:24PM by ChefLuigi12 https://ift.tt/37lyfuF