TLDR: I need help in figuring out whether to tell my boyfriend about the intrusive thoughts I’ve been getting about a girl he used to have a crush on.
My boyfriend (M30) and I (F22) have been dating for 2 years. Throughout our relationship I have been really insecure with his exes. Recently, I’ve told him about those insecurities and I’ve felt better since then. However, I was recently stalking his friend on fb and found a picture of him with a girl that he used to have a crush on, cuddling, about a year before we started dating. I know this should not upset me, and it didn’t at first, but I have an obsessive mind. (I knew he had a crush on her btw he told me about it before) I can’t stop thinking about it. I keep having these intrusive thoughts that I can’t make go away. I keep making up these storylines in my head that upset me. Thinking he would rather be with her than me, or making up reasons why he told her he liked her, but didn’t tell me he liked me (we both had crushes on each other for a while). Or that maybe he was lying about liking me for so long. I know that people can have crushes on more than 1 person, but he chose to pursue her and not me first. I know these are irrational and useless thoughts, as all that matters now is that we’re together and love each other. I’m struggling on whether to tell him about my insecurities and that I found a photo of them. I know telling him about my stupid thoughts helped me before but this time it’s different, it’s more pathetic. I’m afraid he’ll judge me for it. I also have a really hard time bringing up things like this. Every time I’m about to I feel like I’m going to throw up for some reason. Last time I had thoughts like this I bottled them up for a full year exactly. It was pretty ridiculous the reality I made up in my mind about the situation. But as soon as he disputed it, the intrusive thoughts went away. Should I tell him about these thoughts? Does anyone else struggle with things like this? If so, please help me.
Submitted November 25, 2020 at 07:39PM by ThrowRAs1964 https://ift.tt/33kmxis
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