TLDR - I was swept off my feet by a childhood family friend 25(M) but do not know if our goals can align long term. Is it worth pursuing because I feel strongly about him despite age gap, long distance, etc?
I really value marriage and having children so I make that clear in all my dating. I have been single for the past two years because I am careful and only pursue something when I see we have the same vision about the future.
This all started because a childhood friend I had known since I was eight started chatting with me online. I had a lot of fond feelings for him, especially happy childhood memories together with all our families so it felt very nice to catch up. I could sense he probably had a puppy crush so I gently rebuffed him with what I am looking for: someone financially stable and emotionally mature who wants to marry after two years of dating and to start a family then.
I thought that would be the end of that. Plus, he lived all the way across the country. To my surprise he flew to my hometown where I was quarantined. In the lead up to his trip, he had solicited advice from his whole friend group and family to make sure what he wanted was something he could follow through with.
He came up with a plan for the next couple years, including a plan for the long distance in the initial years then a plan to meet my timeline exactly. As for the financial burden aspect (having children, buying a house) he could get help from family if necessary. He actually listened to what I wanted and was genuine and earnest about meeting those goals that I became touched and agreed.
Since then, I have had moments of uncertainty and don’t know if infatuation is driving our decision. For one, financial stability is really important to me. I work hard to build my career so I can get high income jobs to create a nest egg for my future family. He is an entrepreneur and has been working on his venture for the past five years, since leaving college early. I think his single mindedness to this venture (and not unlike to this relationship) really inspires me and from the bottom of my heart I’m rooting for him. But reality that may mean I have the main financial burden for the family in initial years. For two, his natural mode is probably 100% dedication to his venture and making as many business and social connections as possible, whereas I care more about building the foundation of the relationship and through the family. Those are not easy things to reconcile.
Through all this though, his care and love has been very deep and endless. He can always get me to open up when I have these doubt and assuage them 100%. I have never felt more heard and listened to and this deep emotional connection is precious to me. I guess I’m oscillating between (this would be easier if I met someone similar to me at my life stage) and (I really want to believe love and dedication will win out and there will never be someone so precious as him)? Would love to get Reddit’s sense. Thank you so so much.
Submitted November 30, 2020 at 08:08AM by KappaPink https://ift.tt/39sTz43
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