I (25f) don't know how to take a comment that my boyfriend (25m) made about sex with one of his exes.

To begin, my boyfriend and I have been together almost a year, and the comment I'm referring to was made about 4 or 5 months ago. I know that was a while ago, but for some reason it still bothers me.

Basically, my boyfriend enjoys sex a certain way. He likes to have rough sex, and enjoys forced roleplaying and the dom/sub roleplay. I enjoy that as well, but I also love making love and feeling intimate and passionate during sex. I started to feel like we were mainly doing it the way he enjoyed.

Backtrack to a few months ago, I had brought up how I was feeling about our sex and how it made me feel insecure that he wanted to roleplay with me every time. He explained that he had an ex he was with in college for a few months in 2018 and he made love to her every time they had sex, and he had only made love to me one time the whole time we've been together. He also said they had sex 4 or 5 times a day. I got upset because I felt inadequate in a way, or like there was something about me that made him not want me in that way since he had enjoyed that kind of sex in the past. We also don't have sex near that much. He said he didn't mean it and that he thinks he's made love to me more than just once, but I can't get that out of my head. It's definitely taken a toll on my self esteem and I haven't felt attractive for quite a while.

He has definitely tried to have sex the way I enjoy more often since we talked about it, but now anytime he starts to get into the roleplay scenarios I get turned off. Or even when he tries to make love I can't get in the mood because this comment randomly pops in my head, and I don't know how to fix this or bring it up to him again without seeming like I'm bringing up the past, I don't want him to feel like I'm blaming him for the problems we've been having during sex.

So now, he feels like I'm not attracted to him because sometimes I'll want to stop in the middle of it. So we're stuck in this loop of me not being in the mood/feeling insecure and him feeling like I'm not attracted to him and I don't know how to get out of it.

TL;DR! BF said he made love to an ex every time they had sex but has only made love to me once.

Submitted November 27, 2020 at 08:30PM by aeln00 https://ift.tt/33rZiDd