Hi I'm new here. Might as well dive in.
I (27F) watch my SIL (24F) Sarah's kids (both under 2) on the weekend for 2 years now. I love them to death, and as of right now I'm the only person who can watch them on the weekend. She's my SIL, but my brother is USELESS and doesn't bother with his own kids. When I first started watching them again, I told Sarah I could only watch them if she social distanced. She said she would, and so I watched them.
Halloween comes around and I found out through my brother that they went trick or treating. I only found this out because my brother wanted me to keep the kids overnight so him and SIL could go barhopping. I said no, and because they went trick or treating, they had a 2 week time out.
After this two week time out, I sat them both down and talked to them before I let the kids back in the house. I expressed the importance of social distancing, and that the kids can't come over if they're not taking the necessary precautions. They both agree and we have been on good terms. SIL also decided to drop the news that her sister was covid positive a couple months ago and we still had the kids and she never told us. She sees her sister regularly. I don't know why I didn't tell her no more then, but I gave her one more chance.
Today, I find out that my SIL has been attending gatherings with her sister and attended a birthday party for her sisters kid the day before Sarah dropped her kids off at my house to be watched. She dropped those kids off with a smile and didn't mention she had been going to gatherings at all. I saw red this morning on my way to work.
I have ultimately made the decision to cut her off and that they will no longer be in my home during covid. My bigger issue however, is that I don't feel as if I can trust her at all, and am not willing to watch the kids while she continuously lies to me. The issue I'm having with all of this is how the kids will be hurt. I love those kids and they love me and the time they spend with me. This will now be the second time I have loved my brothers kids and they have been taken from me due to disrespect or boundary stomping on the parents part. I particularly expressed to brother and SIL that I don't want to be in these child's lives if the parents are just going to rip them away and the kids won't understand why.
I know I have no control over what they do or how they explain shit to their children. But now I'm left with an empty space in my heart because of their actions and my choices are to roll over and be a door mat or stand up for myself.
How do I come to terms with this heartbreak and not act on my first reaction which is to protect myself and never get involved again?
TL;DR: I'm heartbroken over kids being taken out of my life due to SIL constantly putting me at risk for covid when I babysit the kids.
Submitted November 30, 2020 at 01:39PM by Adorable_Floof https://ift.tt/33wiaB4
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