Background:
As I was growing up, she was clearly homophobic and loudly stated every negative stereotype as fact. She was adamant that "marriage is between a man and a woman". Before I came out, we frequently argued about LGBT rights, with her never siding with me.
I think she suspected my fervent behavior as an ally meant I was gay. When I was home on a break from college she confronted me in what I think is about the worst way possible. I was taking a shower and she burst in demanding to know if I was gay while I just stood there literally naked and dripping wet. I denied it and we never spoke of that incident again, but it terrified me.
I stayed in the closet for a few more years until I moved out. I've continually begged her to say she is okay with same sex marriage and all she'll say is that she supports me. When I tell her about my worries about my rights, she says that the court settled it and I have nothing to worry about. When I told her I was engaged to another woman, she lost it and cried like I'd told her I died and complained about how I wouldn't wear a dress. Keep in mind - I had been dating and living with my then gf for years, which my mom knew (and they had met and spent considerable time together).
I'm just so tired of trying to get my mom to tell me what I need to know - that she loves all of me. And I think that's because she doesn't. And at this point, I don't think she ever will. It hurts so much.
Should I keep trying to get her to accept all of me/is there anything I can do/any advice anyone has for someone in this position? Should I cut her out of my life? She's never apologized to me for anything and as my wife and I start planning to have children - I'm not sure I want future children around my mom in case she would say homophobic things to them.
It's important to note that my mom is supportive in almost every other way - helped pay for my college, helped my buy a car, etc.
tl;dr: Does it make sense to cut my homophobic mom out of my life or is there still a chance she might come around? What do I do?
Submitted November 29, 2020 at 05:50PM by ScarySuit https://ift.tt/2KLgZXS
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