My (32M) partner (30F) get's very upset if we don't have sex

TL;DR - My (32M) partner (30F) get's very upset if we don't have sex, and I'm worried it will get worse when we move in.

Throw away account as could be a bit too obvious given my reddit name!

I want to start off by saying that I absolutely love my partner to bits and 100% see a long term future with her. We don't really ever argue or have disagreements - only around this subject.

I have been with my partner for going on 2 years now, mainly long distance due to work, but she is moving in with me in my home town in May. Which is one of the main reasons I want to try and address this problem sooner rather than later, as I imagine it could potentially get worse when we move in together.

She has been quite clear from the outset on a couple of things:

1. She has a very high sex drive
2. Her love language is intimacy and affection
3. She has an insecurity about initiating sex and being turned down

I in general have an average libido for a male - not too high not too low. However, due to some health issues this year it has most certainly been a lot lower than normal. that is for sure.

So - on to this weekend's hoo hah! She came for the weekend and arrived Friday night. We had sex. Saturday night rolls along, weekend has been lovely, at night we lie in bed watching a TV series till about 2am cuddling being intimate etc and I am really tired so say let's try and get to sleep. She tries to initiate sex and I am just not up for it but say I will go down on her. She comes, twice, I go to sleep. I week up and the atmosphere is super frosty and I know straight away she is upset that we didn't have sex and we go straight in to argument mode.

She complains that she feels like I never want to have sex with her. why don't I when she wants to with me, she feels like she needs more intimacy etc. To be honest this really hurt my feelings as she knows I've been unwell and it's just not my fault if I do not feel like having sex. I almost feel as if it was the other way around and it was a guy saying this to a girl, it could be deemed as quite abusive in a way? I tried to explain it has nothing to do with her at all, I just have a low sex drive at the moment, but it doesn't seem to work. To be honest, It's starting to make me feel anxious about the whole subject of sex in general, as I feel like now there's just so much pressure on it.

Wondering how to approach/solve this before we move in, as I can only imagine that this is going to exacerbate the situation. Any advice is greatly appreciated!

Submitted November 29, 2020 at 02:12PM by DetectiveOk4378 https://ift.tt/36kmeGn