We’ve been dating for about 1.5 years and were best friends previosly a year before. For context, he’s my first boyfriend, firsr love, and basically first everything. I love him so so dearly.
The thing is, I don’t know if I am, or will be romantically attracted to him in the future. He realized he was bisexual in the beginning of our relationship, which I initially had zero problems with but since then he’s been wanting to explore himself.
About a year into the relationship, he realized he really liked certain women’s clothing and femboy things and realized he wanted to be more androgynous/non-binary (doesn’t mind either he/she pronouns) and I can respect that. Now he’s growing out his hair, wanting to paint his nails, shave the hair off his body, and overall just change his looks to a lot more feminine than what he looked like when I first fell in love with him. His personality has also changed a bit and it’s made me a little uneasy.
The thing is, I’m pretty sure I’m heteromantic (I never really thought much about my sexuality before because I initally thought I was asexual and wasn’t interested in a romantic relationship before I met my boyfriend). I just know that romantically and in general, I am more attracted to masculine aligned features and personality. When we first started dating, he was more feminine than other guys but still had a more masculine alignment. He wasn’t really interested being more feminine and androgynous until a few months ago though.
The problem is I really love him dearly. The reasons I want to break up is cause I don’t think I can love him how he deserves because I don’t think I can accept who he’s becoming as a romantic partner and I don’t want to hold him back. However, I’m really scared to break up because he is really sweet and loves me dearly and I really don’t want to lose him in my life. I don’t think it’d be possible for us to be friends either though. I want to make the relationship work but I don’t think I can get over my feelings about who he’s becoming. I fear one day I’ll look at him and see a different person.
He’s aware of how I feel about him becoming like this but not to it’s full extent because I don’t want him to feel bad about changing who he is just because it makes me uncomfortable.
If there’s any advice on how to make this work, I’d love to hear it. Otherwise, how do I learn to let go?
Tl;dr My boyfriend is my first love. He decided he likes women’s clothing and wants to be more feminine and androgynous/non-binary. The thing is, I’m heteromantic and am generally more romantically attracted to masculine features and personality. I feel like I can’t love him like he deserves which is why I want to break up but I’m scared to let go because I don’t want to lose him in my life but I also don’t think we could be friends after. How do I learn to let go?
Submitted November 27, 2020 at 01:34PM by PockyPixl https://ift.tt/2KQYTE9
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