TL;DR: Older sister decided that our violent little sister wont be a bridesmaid at her wedding and we don’t know how to break the news to little sister because we’re afraid of what she’ll do to us in retaliation.
In December, my older sister (28F) “Kelly” is getting married. I (20F) am going to be a bridesmaid, and I’m really excited. Lately she’s even been dropping hints that we (the bridesmaids) should look into getting our bridesmaid dresses soon.
Here’s the problem: About a year ago, Kelly decided that my little sister (17F) “Helena” will not be a bridesmaid. Nobody has told Helena this yet.
Even though Helena is vaguely aware that the wedding will be happening, we avoid talking about it in front of her because we’re afraid of her reaction. She has only brought it up once since the engagement was announced, and it was basically just her seeing Kelly’s Save the Date card on the fridge and offhandedly saying (to me) “oh yeah, are we gonna be bridesmaids for that or what?” I didn’t want to be the one to bear the bad news to her, so I said “I dunno, I know I’m being a bridesmaid... Maybe you should ask Kelly about it?” it hasn’t come up since, and afaik Helena hasn’t talked to Kelly about it.
Here are some reasons why Kelly doesn’t want to invite Helena
-
Prone to violent fits and volatile break-downs
-
Has kicked a 1 inch thick door in half before when my mom asked her to do her homework
-
Likes throwing heavy objects at people’s heads when she’s mad
-
Has physically assaulted my parents about a dozen times in the past year
-
Verbally abused me all my life and has taken to verbally abusing my parents in the past few years
-
This past Thanksgiving she broke down my door while I was away, stole my car keys, and trashed my car
-
Drives under the influence and attacks my parents when they take her keys away
-
A few months ago my mom grounded her for a few days and Helena went into my mom’s personal things and tore up all of the old art & cards we have given her since we were children
-
Dabbles in dealing drugs to kids from her high school
-
Steals from all of us often, mostly money and medication
-
And, biggest of all.......... we recently found out that she has full blown homicidal fantasies about killing my parents.
She’s been baker-acted a few times, but we can’t afford to send her to a long term treatment/rebab facility. She doesn’t trust therapists anymore because her old therapist alerted the authorities about her homicidal intent, and she either sells her medication or refuses to take it. We’re pretty much just....trapped here with her until my parents are legally allowed to kick her out.
Back to the matter at hand: we’re all really afraid of what’s going to happen when she finds out she won’t be a bridesmaid (and might not even be invited to the wedding, in light of the murder-fantasy thing). My parents are afraid of her, and want Kelly herself to talk to her about it. Kelly’s in another state though, and so we’d be the ones suffering the brunt of the fallout when she gets the news.
So, questions for you guys:
-
How should the news be broken to her?
-
What are some ways we can protect ourselves from her if she decides to retaliate against us
-
Should we tell her that Kelly was also considering uninviting her from the wedding?
Any advice is appreciated
Submitted March 03, 2020 at 07:09PM by leomercury https://ift.tt/2vAXf21
No comments:
Post a Comment