so 4 AM rant post because i can’t sleep. i (20f) love my my bf (22m) so much.
i’ve had horrible and abusive past relationships and this is the only time that i’ve had somebody be kind and loving in a relationship. he gets frustrated sometimes but he didn’t break up with me, supports me, and pushes me to be my best self despite me having panic attacks and anxiety issues sometimes due to PTSD. (of course, i still need to work on my issues despite trauma making it difficult.)
i love this, but because of my issues i do have difficulty with communication due to reactions i’ve received in the past when I speak my mind. i tell him I love him and stuff but i still find it difficult to say and do many things I’d like to so i can express how I feel.
also, we’ve been fighting recently. :( I wanna show him that I love him and don’t wanna lose him and also be able to communicate my feelings correctly when i disagree with him and im finding it difficult.
i never say awful things or anything, but i can shut down sometimes when it comes to issues and end up not speaking or saying things other than what i wanted to say and it’s frustrating for both of us.
we got in an argument today and i’m hoping it was resolved well but he seems really tired of it/me & i really just don’t want to break up. the subject of our arguments is never my ptsd or anything, but my issues just make things more difficult for me and overall i love him lots and don’t wanna break up.
tl;dr: i have ptsd and struggle with showing my boyfriend that i truly love him (when I do) and communicating my feelings.
Submitted July 10, 2022 at 01:03AM by princesskerrii https://ift.tt/GpFHNS7
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