I need advice.
A couple of months ago I (28M) realized that my best friend (28F) of over a decade, is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. She's the one. And I don't know what to do or how to tell her...
We met in high school and we immediately hit it off as being both the eldest of the class and kind of like the two old guys on the balcony of the muppet show. We became very close friends. We could tell each other anything and could be ourselves with each other. Sat next to each other in each class, went to college together, I dropped out while she finished it. We've been through thick and thin together for so many years. I was there during her worst, around the period I met her, and she was there during my worst. She even let me stay with her when I was practically homeless. I've seen her in and out of relationships and fwb for so long and I never thought much of it. Because for the most part of the past decade I have been struggling to get over my previous serious relationship, being depressed, practically homeless and that's why I dropped out... And the latter part of the decade was me being too stupid to realize that she's the one.
I'm not going to write what she has been through, all the exes and fwb etc although it impacts my story, those stories aren't mine to tell so don't even bother asking...
Anyway, when covid hits she lost her job as an elementary teacher. In between full lockdowns she decided she wanted more from life and took a road trip 2000 km away. Obviously I encouraged her. So during this trip of course she met someone, her current bf and when another lockdown hit, she stayed with him until now. During this almost 2 years period she had a miscarriage, and I wanted to surprise visit her after all the lockdowns ended to lift her spirits up a little. Before I could even leave, she stood at my door surprising me. She came to visit her family and close friends for it has been a while since she saw them... That's when she dropped the bomb on me.
She told me that she was pregnant again and they were thinking of getting married because it would be easier for papers and immigration for her and the baby. Apparently even though the country where she's from and where she's living right now are both european countries, it's very difficult to get the right papers...
That was the only moment with her when I was ever speechless and just in awe... I tried my best looking as happy as I could for her, I don't know if she noticed though... But that was the moment I realized that she was the one and that I'm too late...
That's also the moment that she told me that her current bf is jealous of me even though he doesn't know me. First I was like, I'm driving up there so I could show him that there's nothing he should be afraid of... Then I thought it would be a hippocrite of me driving up there to show him there's nothing to be jealous about but at the same time confirming his suspicion that I am in fact in love with her.
I wanted initially just to break up the friendship because she seems happy with him and all I ever wanted was for her to be happy. All my friends told me that I should tell her and work things out before making any rash decisions. And that it's not only my decision to end friendship, but both of us. But then again, what the f am I expecting to gain if I tell her? I mean it's not like she's going for an abortion and leave the guy and be with me... I don't expect her to do so either. On the otherside both him adn I wouldn't be able to live with eachother as he's jealous of me and I dont want to stand inbetween them. I dont want to be a reason for an argument.
So what should I do?
TL;DR: Realized after so many years my best friend is the one I want to be with. She's my soulmate. Initially wanting to break clean the friendship for not wanting to stand in the way of her happiness. Her new boyfriend is jealous. So it is him or me... But she's already pregnant from him and wanting to marry him for papers and ease for the baby... Tell her what I feel or not? Or do something else?
Submitted July 14, 2022 at 01:17AM by robbasaur https://ift.tt/LRKpvjz
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