My boyfriend (33M) and I (32F) in general have a great relationship. We love to hang out together, have similar opinions on all the important topics (family, finances, religion, ...). I didn't think a relationship like this could exist before I met him.
However, he gets upset as soon as something isn't as he thought it would be, even if the change is super small.
Some examples:
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He didn't get to sleep at 10pm as planned but 10:20 because of a phone call with a friend.
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Google maps tries to guide him through a closed alley.
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He is hungry.
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The BBQ is set to start at 5pm but I can't answer his question if food will be served right away.
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A bird got into our balcony
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A mosquito is flying around
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On vacation when I brought him a towel to rhe bathroom, I put it on the closed toiled instead of the sink
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He felt underdressed among me and my coworkers (he wasn't)
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...and many more.
In general these are somewhat negative experiences, but the way he reacts to them is very over the top - he will get really angry and annoyed in "everything sucks!, why did I even come?!, I can't live like this!" kind of way. Everything is really catastrophic in that moment and it mostly reminds me of a toddler who's having a tantrum. There is no way of talking with him when this is happening.
He doesn't get angry AT me and afterwards he acknowledges what happened but at the same time he doesn't see this as problematic as he's just expressing his feelings.
I try to be understanding as yes, he is just expressing his feelings, but the fact that this happens over the smallest things, it means I have to be super considerate all the time about what might go wrong when planning something non-ordinary as to not have to deal with a tantrum. I personally really enjoy vacationing and such where things usually don't go as planned and this is not fun anymore.
So I'm conflicted - am I overreacting by being annoyed by this? How to handle this kind of situation? I don't see this as black and white, so I'm really curious what you guys think.
Submitted July 22, 2022 at 10:43PM by Conference-Whole https://ift.tt/pZ2fC1W
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