I just want to start this off by saying I looove rats and genuinely love having them. They are such sweet and precious and playful little creatures. What I don't love is this growing resentment inside me that I have voiced more than once.
We ended up with a rat at first because my boyfriend's snake wouldn't eat him. By the time the rat got too big to feed to the snake he had been with us for close to a month and had become quite friendly.
I loved him but suggested adopting him out as a pet since he was still young because I have depression and didn't want the added responsibility at the time. My boyfriend said he wanted to keep him and would take care of him and the rats we'd add to accompany him. Because he told me he'd care for them instead of me, I said fine and so we got a medium cage and 2 more rats.
Well, as is usually the case, my boyfriend was too broke and busy working to buy a good quality set up any time soon, so I did. I stepped in because I refuse to witness animal neglect in my own home. I bought the ferret nation cage, the Oxbow food and treats, the bedding, the toys and hammocks and carrier. I let them out every single day for an hour and play with them, I clean out their cage and mind their food and water. I pay for vet visits and mediate any problems.
Ultimately I took over. My one ask of my boyfriend was spot cleaning the cage a few times a week and even then I have to nag. If I don't say anything he "forgets." I have brought this up with him multiple times. This is a chore that takes 10 minutes tops and that's a problem but he knows how to make time for things he wants.
I'm not sure what my next move is. I have had serious talks with him more than once and he has acknowledged that he's "been an asshole." I have straight up told him I think he's a mediocre caregiver and needs to step it up. I have told him about my resentment of being put into the exact position I didn't want, regardless of how much I love the rats.
I have lost some trust, respect and attraction to him over this and short of dumping him I don't know how to get him to wake the fuck up. He has so many wonderful, amazing qualities but I feel betrayed and now I have to grieve 5 rats when they die all by myself because he doesn't know or love them like I do. It sucks.
TLDR: My boyfriend wanted to keep rats, I didn't want the added responsibility due to depression, he said he would care for them and not me so I agreed. He was too broke and busy so I stepped in for their sake and am now a rat mama, which is great except for my resentment towards unhelpful boyfriend.
Submitted July 28, 2022 at 09:27PM by scatterbrayne94 https://ift.tt/TtUDcZw
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