How to deal with my husband being weird and presumptive about my nephew!?

Excuse that this post is probably a jumbled mess, I'm absolutely pissed and on mobile. My husband [M40] and I [F38] have been together for a long time, we were high school sweethearts. Things aren't like they used to be at all, we can play couple nicely but we aren't really a couple anymore – we're really only still together for our daughters sake [F17]. He's seeing other people (plural), I could & have his blessing to do so but really just lack any of the energy to date.

Either way, I have a 16 year old nephew. I wasn't always super involved in his life tbh, but in the past few years we've actually been pretty close. He's a great kid – respectful, not weird or sexist etc, accomplishments galore, caring, kind, wickedly intelligent. I often dine out with my daughter and love to bring him along. He's very close with & been a genuinely great influence on her too, and gotten her into a much healthier group of friends. We see him around once or twice a week.

Anyway, I don't know why this is the case... but my husband has gotten particularly weird and posessive/protective over my daughter & I regarding him. In the past It's been mostly just my husband being passive-aggressive towards him, but it culminated in him actually yelling at him. Literally screamed at my nephew for giving myself and my daughter a hug. "Don't you fucking touch my wife or daughter, do you understand me?". Just out of nowhere. Nephew responded "excuse me, what?" and I ended up separating the two. Telling my husband to knock it the fuck off. He was very upset by my nephews reply, which to be quite honest I think was perfectly appropriate.

Just to make it clear, my nephew genuinely isn't doing anything wrong, his household is just more affectionate than ours was. He's never hugged either of us in an inappropriate way or even without asking, he's always asked, and its in the same way that he hugs his parents or siblings (he has 3 sisters) or friends of both genders. He treats me, overall, somewhere between how he treats his mom (f40s) & older sister (f22). He treats my daughter exactly like he treats his other older sister of the same age (f17)

This isn't a one time thing though, this has been ongoing

1. Another time, my husband made a comment along the lines of "her eyes are higher than that" in reference to my nephew looking at me. When my husband said that, my nephew was looking me directly in my eyes. There's never been any inappropriate looking or him checking me out, or whatever disgusting shit was being implied.

2. Story came up at one time about how my daughter briefly had her top fall down while at a waterpark. I was there, my nephew was there & with his girlfriend. Nephew immediately turned away and it was fixed within like 2 seconds. My husband was originally pissed about us wearing swimsuits around him, but when he heard that story latched onto it.

3. Husband has commented about our clothing choices bing too revealing, which he never normally does, just because we would be hiking with my nephew.

4. He's openly and explicitly told my daughter on multiple occasions that he doesn't like her talking to my nephew, and he's heavily implied the same to me constantly

TLDR: My husband is being extremely weird about and presumptive about the intentions of my nephew, and it's totally unwarranted.

Submitted July 13, 2022 at 09:13PM by iroheo https://ift.tt/F6SkHIa