My parents (60s) have always been pretty bad with money, failed businesses. They are retired and living on modest social security now. They don't have any cash, but do have a considerable asset (house with about 500k equity). Their social security can afford to pay their necessities, but that's about it.
My sibling (32F) has an ok job, she makes a decent amount but nothing crazy. She's extremely generous and likes to spend money both on herself but also other people.
My parents always have had tastes and a lifestyle that's beyond their budget. So now my sister is filling the gaps for them. For example, my parents have a higher grocery budget than me and my spouse, and we live in a higher COL area and don't exactly skimp on groceries either (Whole Foods a lot). But my parents are eating steak, salmon, etc every week. If they travel, they stay at 5 star hotels. They also eat out at Michelin star type restaurants.
They do this because my sister basically subsidizes all their "wants". She visits them every other weekend, and pays for their groceries. She always pays when going out to dinner. She pays for some of their normal expenses, like cell phone bill, car insurance, etc. And she gives them cash too.
So my sister ends up not saving any money. She just spends her entire paycheck. Again, she makes an ok amount but not a lot (not 6 figures). She's saved almost zilch for retirement.
In the past, I have told my sister that I think she's not helping my parents by subsidizing them like this, and that what happens if they have some massive emergency where they need a lot of money and can't come up with it? And neither can she? But ultimately it's her money so I can't say much.
As for me, I do ok. Not wealthy or make a lot of money, but my spouse and I are fairly frugal (only think we splurge on is eating good food), and have a solid amount saved up for retirement, emergency fund, all that good stuff. I've had to bail out my parents with random expenses before, most recently 10k to fix their AC.
But I'm getting seriously worried and also a bit resentful. If my sister was to lose her job, it might lead to a situation where they all need my financial help, and I don't think it's fair when they are not living responsibly and within their budgets now.
How do I manage this situation?
tl;dr: My parents are retired and living on social security but like to spend money, and my sister pays for a lot of their luxuries. My sister is also not good with her own money. Worried I'll have to eventually bail all of them out if shit hits fan.
Submitted July 11, 2022 at 02:47PM by Alfredo_Garcia_ https://ift.tt/x1Ekgyt
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