My 5 year long FWB has started acting like he might be getting real feelings for me but at the same time he’s been more distant than ever. What is going on ?

We ( F25 , M26) started hooking up pretty much as soon as we met 5 years ago, so we didn’t have much of a friendship but we always got along well and actually laughed a lot for two people who didn’t talk much lol. After sex I would typically leave right away, it was all no strings attached, which was always perfectly fine. This continued on a regular basis until in the 3rd year of knowing each other I moved away so we didn’t see each other at all. However I came back to the area a year and a half ago so we began hooking up again but his energy towards me has changed. It’s been more intense this time around. I think he is maybe getting real feelings? I’ll list everything he does in a second, I want to know whether I’m over thinking or not because I do recognize I’ve been lonely during COVID lol , so I want to make sure I’m viewing this situation straight. But what I don’t understand is if he actually likes me than why for a whole year and a half now does he have this pattern of treating me phenomenally whenever I see him then afterwards he won’t message me for like another month and 1/2 - 2 months? I reached out to him here and there but he’ll ignore or barely answer. That made me nervous that I’m looking desperate so now we only talk if he texts first, which I said usually takes about a month after each hook up 😑. Here are a few things he has said/ done since I’ve moved back that makes me think he might have real feelings...

• Few month back he tells me that usually he is shy with girls. I was surprised because he always seemed outgoing to me, so he says " yeah that's cause you're easy to talk to. I never felt uncomfortable with you"

• He’s given me a few massages this year and he’s never offered that in the past. And I’m talking really long sensual messages, like he puts in work lol, it feels great.

• In general he just seems way more into kissing me in a romantic way ( as opposed to kissing me to build up to sex). For example, couple months ago he picked me up from my house and when we pulled up to a red light with no traffic around he interrupted me talking by saying "hold up a minute" then gently grabs my face and gives me an unexpected slow deep kiss. I thought it was sweet. Then at the end of that night he kept prolonging us making out even though I was saying I have to go home ( and I know he wasn't trying to have sex again because by that point we were together for hours and he even fell asleep for a bit by accident lol. Trust me he did not have energy for sex, it honestly seemed like he just really wanted to keep kissing me. Another thing I should point of is yeah we typically hang out and talk for hours now, when in the past it was definitely more of a hit it and quit it type of vibe lol)

• He's trying to redo his bedroom but said he has no idea what he's doing so he wants to take me furniture shopping with him because he needs a females touch 😂. Cute right? Except that was a month ago and he hasn’t followed up about it lol. He has suggested other plans in the past too, like going to the beach, which again he doesn’t follow up on. It’s so frustrating to me because like why say it if you don’t mean it??

• First time in his new apartment I complimented a painting and he right away told me that I could have it. ( lol like what?? He knows I'm very into art but I did not take it btw. It’s a huge painting, like around 6x6, I didn’t feel comfortable taking something like that )

• We were flirting and I told him what about him I find attractive , and then he says “I find everything about you attractive, how you look, your personality, just everything" ( kinda sounds like a bit of a player line to me though but he said it in a genuine way and he did say he's shy with girls? idk )

• Last summer he actually did say he likes me but I thought he meant it in a friend way. He was jokingly teasing me like usual so I called him annoying and he said " Com'on you know I do it because I like you"

• Once while we were kissing I put my hair back and right away he was like almost in awe of me or something lol and said it “looks so good like that" (mind you, he's seen my hair back manyyy times) I jokingly went "back? So you don't like my hair". I was expecting him to just laugh or tease me lol but instead he put his hand on my cheek and with a sweet look in his eyes he said " no no... you just have such a beautiful face (my name) " then continued to kiss me really gently.

• If I say I’m hungry while we’re driving around he never hesitates to buy me food ( In the past I would buy it myself ).

• He lends me clothes sometimes, no big deal. But last time when he lent me a shirt I said that I would get it back to him next time we see each other, he just told me that I could keep it. He's never given me anything before lol. I still intend to give it back but he hasn't asked about it.

So whats your opinion on his feelings? Honestly, right when I moved back I did consider actually dating him if he would’ve asked but after dealing with this pattern of him treating me so sensually and gently then ignoring my whole existence for a 1-2 months after, I’ve realized it actually really hurts my feelings and I’m fed up a little lol. It messes with my self esteem, like I worry if I annoyed him or just did something wrong. It’s ridiculous to feel that way being that it is still FWB at the end of the day though. I just keep coming back because our sexual connection is something I’ve never really experienced before. ( sorry if it’s tmi but he actually has started to make me squirt a few times this year, which is a big deal because first of all I have to be really comfortable with someone for that to happen, I’ve only been able to do that 3 other times and each time I was actually pretty drunk. So clearly I’m really comfortable with him if I’m able to get there multiple times while sober, perhaps I have deeper feelings than I thought too. )

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tl;dr - We ( F25, M26) started being FWB 5 years ago. The first 2 years were very much no strings attached, we weren’t really friends but we got along fine and have always laughed alot together. Then I moved away, since coming back a year and 1/2 ago he has been dropping hints that he might genuinely like me (actually did say he liked me but I assumed he wasn’t serious/ meant in a friend way ), spends more money on me, will hang out for hours, acts much more gentle and sensual than he has in the past, etc. BUT despite the fact that he treats me amazingly when we are together, afterwards I won’t hear from him for 1 - 2 months lol. I used to reach out but would get ignored or short answer so now we only talk if he texts first. What does that mean about how he feels? If he wants to ignore me like that than why does he put so much effort into being sweet and sensual when I’m with him? I mean he’s the one that took it to this level, like I said I was ok with the emotionless type of sex we were having the first 2 years lol. I’ve realized I must have deeper feeling than I thought as well because not only do I get fed up waiting, but I also worry that I did/ said something wrong. I don’t know if I should bring this up to him because it’s a bit ridiculous to have all these feelings when it’s still a FWB relationship at the end of the day lol

Submitted February 21, 2021 at 07:10PM by wallflowerfae https://ift.tt/2ZzJbBn