My ex and I dated secretly for almost 2 years because he comes from a family where they all have arranged marriages and the girls you date are usually not considered marriage material. His parents were friends with my uncle, who also shares similar views, and they seemed to like me so we thought if we could keep it a secret, his family would ask my uncle/parents about a potential marriage between us anyway. Things didn’t work out because my cousin caught us on a date and exposed the whole thing. His parents hated me from that day and when he told them he wanted to marry me, they threatened to disown him if he went through with it.
They started searching for potential brides for him and eventually found someone they wanted him to marry. I was devastated but my mum said to me that if he wasn’t willing to fight for us, he wasn’t worth it anyway and I was saving myself a lot of potential heartache by being married to someone so spineless. My ex suggested we continue seeing each other secretly and he would marry the other girl for show but that wasn’t something I was willing to agree to. After he got married, I went NC with him because he kept trying to convince me to be his mistress.
I met my current fiancé 3 years ago. I thought my ex was a good boyfriend, but my fiancé has shown me I really accepted the bare minimum in my previous relationship. It’s so nice to be with someone who doesn’t treat you like a dirty secret and whose family are so welcoming and kind.
I’ve officially been engaged for 3 months but I only informed my extended family a month ago. I’m assuming they informed my ex/his family because ever since he has been attempting to sabotage my engagement. At first, he contacted me to beg me not to go through with my marriage, promising he would get a divorce and claiming he didn’t care if his family disowned him or not. When I continued to ignore him, he threatened to harm himself. It got to the point where his parents and my uncle came to my parents to beg them to make me marry their son because he had actually tried to do it. His family, my ex and my own uncle are now set on convincing my fiancé to leave me. They’ve made horrible lies up about me, including telling my fiancé’s family I was having sex with multiple men and that I’ve had at least 5 abortions. They’re also going after my fiancé and his father professionally.
I responded to my ex when they continued to escalate and begged him to stop. He said he would if I met up with him so he could have 'closure'. I’m not sure if that’s a good idea but my fiancé wants me to agree and take him with me.
How do I get him to leave me alone? If I do meet up with him, how do I make him realise that our relationship was never as good as we thought it was?
TL;DR – My ex chose to marry another girl after our relationship was exposed and his parents disapproved of me. Now that I’m engaged he won’t leave me or my fiancé alone, despite being a married man.
Submitted February 21, 2021 at 03:55PM by ThrowRAsabotage1 https://ift.tt/3unBagK
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