My [21F] friends [three females, 21, 21, 22] dumped me because I’m the only one in our group who’s still keeping her New Year’s Resolution to get fit

Hi Reddit,

Thanks for reading my issue. I’m wondering if I’m doing something wrong, or if I have the wrong kind of friends.

My group of friend are all overweight. None of us are clinically obese, but let’s just say all of us were chubbier than we wanted to be. This past Halloween, the four of us shared an epiphany while planning our Halloween costumes: we were al tired of being heavy. It’s not that we wanted to do the cliche thing of dressing ‘sexy’ for Halloween, but just that we literally had to buy more material to make our costumes, which sucked.

A little backstory. I’ve known all three of these girls since we were in high school. Back then, we were all quite fit and slender, and we were all in fact on the cross country team. We went our separate ways in college, but still stayed friends because we’re all from the same home town.

We all had a similar experience in college; we got homesick, we overate, we got overweight. None of us seemed to hate our bodies, mind you, we just wanted to be more fit. During quarantine, we all are doing our senior college year from home over Zoom, so all of us are staying with our parents and get to see one another in town a lot more than we otherwise would.

One of our group (not me) suggested that since we’re all home for senior year, and living just a few blocks from one another like in high school, why not get in shape? Although it was barely October, we decided as a group that we would make getting fit and in shape our resolution for 2021.

Thé plan was that we would run about two miles every morning at 7am. We would meet at the park, and take three big laps around the pond, with each lap being slightly less than 7/10 of a mile. We also vowed to eat properly. Honestly, I drank too much soda and sugary coffee drinks, and ate too much processed and fatty food.

I decided that if I just changed my diet a little, I could really cut a lot of unnecessary calories.

We even made a cheesy little Instagram account for the four of us, where each of us would post our accomplishments and progress, and encourage one another.

Well, for the first few days, all of us stuck to the plan. We’d meet up, do our laps, and then go home to do our own thing. We’d post pics of ourselves online, post our meals, and so on.

By Winter Break, however, one by one the other girls quit coming to run. I was used to running my two miles by this time and was proud that I was almost as fast as I used to be when I was at my fastest in eleventh grade. I noticed that the other girls weren’t posting to our social media anymore, nor were they saying anything complimentary to me when I was showing my progress.

I thought maybe they were depressed and needed more support, due to the lockdown because of course that is a real downer as far as moods go. They seemed to be doing just fine, in fact when I look at their regular Facebook pages I see they even go to do activities together without me, which hurt.

From October to now, I’ve dropped 23 pounds and can see my stomach muscles again. I don’t post pics of myself on that Insta page or on Facebook. It’s just for me and I feel strong and healthier and stronger. I can stay up later even without drinking two lattes a day and getting up is easier, too.

I’ve NEVER been popular with guys but now all of a sudden guys are noticing me and talking to me and asking me out. It’s not like I look that much different than I used to. Yes, I’m 23 pounds lighter but my actual measurements didn’t change much. My doctor says my muscle mass is increasing and that’s normal. I did not buy new clothes.

I think it’s the way I carry myself.

My mom and dad noticed and are proud of me and are happy for me.

But as far as my friends?

They’re ignoring me now, and it hurts a lot.

They’re posting a lot of things on their social media about accepting yourself for who you are.

I agree with that message, but it’s like they’re insinuating without actually saying so that I’m image obsessed.

My workout is solely limited to my morning run and eating healthier.

I met a great guy in mid January and he likes me for who I am. He’s a year younger but whatever. He asked me to be his Valentine and his girlfriend and for the first time in a while I posted a picture of us on Facebook on Valentines Day, with his consent, where we weren’t even kissing or anything, just smiling and standing next to each other.

Practically all of my regular friends on social media commented on how much fitter and stronger I looked, how even if I wasn’t a stick like I was in high school, I was very athletic looking.

I liked the validation of course, but I hated that my three what-I-thought-were close friends didn’t even « like » my photo even though I know they saw it.

I’d been friends with all three for many years now so I came right out and group texted all of them and asked them why they were so cold to me lately. They all replied with some variation that I was shaming them and a snob.

I cried all night.

All of them blocked me on social media and I feel so alone. Friends-wise, I mean. Sure, the Facebook friends are nice and supportive, but I mean the real-life face to face friends I used to have, and see every day. Those three girls are the only true close friends I felt I really have, other than my mom and my older brother and they don’t count lol.

My boyfriend’s been great. He tells me maybe they’re just getting used to the changes in me. All I did was live up to the resolution we ALL agreed to this past October and now it’s cost me all of my close friends.

I still have my friends at school but with the pandemic I can’t just go out and see them because I’m hundreds of miles away.

Am I doing something wrong here? Maybe I shouldn’t have posted that picture on Valentine’s Day? I wasn’t gloating.

When I saw my friends gradually stopped posting to our Instagram I read that they were quitting and toned down my posts too, and tried to reach out to support.

I feel like I know I did it right, but also that I must have done something bad.

Just looking for advice.

Should I try maybe apologizing to them? Or maybe try to encourage them more to run again?

Thanks for your help Reddit.

tl;dr I’m the only one in my friend group to keep her fitness resolution for the new year, and now they shun me. Did I do something bad?

Submitted February 20, 2021 at 06:23PM by AnnoyingEmoHamlet https://ift.tt/3aCwGes