So I (19m) and my sister (29f) are arguing at the moment cause I don't want biological children but she says I'm too young to know and might want them in the future. Usually this wouldn't really be a topic cause I really am young and usually people my age have time to change their minds but in my case I more or less have to make this decision in the very near future.
See I am trans (female to male) and will start my testosterone treatment soon and while you technically can still be fertile even after years on T the chances aren't very high and if you want to make sure you can have biological children you have to freeze your egg cells before you start hormones. I don't want to do that for a number of reasons: First of I don't even want children neither biological nor adopted or in any way shape or form, I'd be a fucking horrible dad and I really don't want to put an innocent child through this.
Secondly I CANNOT under any circumstances be pregnant, even thinking about the possibility of that makes me sick to my stomach and I'm pretty sure I'd rather kill myself than carry a baby it's fucking impossible. But in the country I live in you're not allowed to implant your eggs into anyone else they can just be implanted back into yourself so I would have to be pregnant for bio children, which just no, under no fucking circumstances I'd ever be willing to do that.
Another point is money, freezing your eggs isn't cheap and while I do have the money I simply don't want to spend it on that.
The next point may seem a bit ironic but I am not willing to pump my body full of the hormones necessary before they can harvest your eggs, I know, I know I want to start a different hormone treatment so I shouldn't have problems with it but testosterone will make changes I actually desperately want while the side effects of the other hormones can include shit like your boobs growing which would be fucking horrible.
And the last point is simply time: if I don't freeze my eggs I can start T in a few weeks but if I do it would take at least 10 month before I can start (waiting lists are pretty long for procedures like freezing your eggs where I live).
You see this isn't a spur of the moment decision, I have been in therapy for 1,5 years now and I have thought and talked every aspect of my hormone treatments through. I know what I'm doing. But my sister won't change her opinion even after hearing all my reasons, she even said she'd be willing to pay for the procedure but that isn't the point. I simply do not want to do it. I don't want fucking kids and if I ever change my mind I'd adopt. But I just can't get through to her. I know that it's my decision and that her opinion isn't that important here but she is the only person in my family who ever supported me in my transition and losing that support now fucking sucks. I just want her to understand my point of view, I need her support and not her constant criticism. Do any of you have any ideas what else I could say to get through to her? I'm at my wit's end and it's fucking exhausting to argue about this topic. I just don't know what else to say.
Oof this got way longer than I expected, I think I really needed to vent. Thank you so much to everyone who read all of this. And my apologies for any grammar or spelling mistakes and shit english isn't my first language and if anything is unclear because of that just ask.
TL;DR: My sister wants me to freeze my eggs I don't want to what can I say to make her stop arguing with me?
Submitted February 22, 2021 at 03:04AM by 128763 https://ift.tt/37FqlNo
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