UPDATE: My husband (30M) thinks I've lost all flexibility and gotten a lot angrier in recent years. He's right. What do I (30F) do?
So I mentioned in my last post that I was going to sit down and discuss all my concerns with my husband over New Years day, which I did. It's been a little while since then so I wanted to discuss some of the changes we've made so far and plan to make.
Regarding division of labor, I tallied up what we currently do and how long it takes and our division of labor is honestly pretty even. Yes, I do the cooking, but my husband does more of the childcare, stuff like that. We have found a few ways to make adjustments. I have decided to do more batch cooking and we're upping takeout to twice a week rather than once. This has already made a huge difference. My husband also shifted his work hours a bit so he now takes my daughter to and from daycare. This isn't a permanent thing and does cut down time with my daughter, but it allows me to sleep a little more which is nice. He was less fond of the idea of a cleaning service, but seeing as that would likely be a post-COVID thing we can discuss it again at that time. Right now I'm just going to get more comfortable with a messy house. Who really cares in the long run.
Unfortunately when it comes to bigger stuff, there's not much we can do. A lot of people were commenting on my commute. Yes, it is soul crushing. I hate driving. Unfortunately, short of finding a new job, I can't really do that. Do I love my job? No. But there aren't really other open jobs in my field and we also bought our house pretty recently and don't want to move. So this is just what we need to deal with. Some people asked why I don't consider my commute 'me time'. In some ways I do. It's nice to put on an audiobook and listen. But driving stresses me out, it's time not pursuing the few hobbies I have, etc. But people commute. That's life.
Some people suggested exercise. Honestly that would be a good idea. I'm just not there energy-wise. I can barely get off the couch after work. But maybe in the future. I am focusing more on mindfulness and being cheerier when I come home so I don't scare my daughter anymore.
My husband and I also discussed our relationship. It's kind of suffered tbh. We technically have weekly date nights but it's mostly just falling asleep in front of a movie. We also haven't had sex in a while and are considering scheduling that, but haven't figured that part of it yet. So there's some progress to be made.
All in all, a net positive. Thanks reddit.
tl;dr made some adjustments to my routine and it is helping. More work to be done.
Submitted January 10, 2021 at 01:44PM by Wafer-Original https://ift.tt/3brSyKk
No comments:
Post a Comment