MY GF (24F) got arrested last week for hitting me (24M) because I called the cops

Thank you for taking the time to read my post. MY GF (24F) got arrested last week for hitting me (24M) because I called the cops. 

Long story short me and my ex-girlfriend always had issues with affection. She would always say that affection is her least desirable love language. My number one love language is indeed affection. I was really willing to work with her to meet halfway in terms of not holding hands, hugging, kissing, cuddling as I normally would in a relationship. Throughout our relationship I always felt that she met me halfway 5% of the time. We literally never held hands for more than 10 seconds bc I would try and she would push me away, she claimed she hated kissing and making out so we would kiss if I was lucky, she would always move her face away when I tried to kiss her, reject more when I wanted affection 90% of the time, etc. I brought this up to her several times, she said she had walls up and she was working on it but it never seemed like she was. All I ever wanted was for the affection to be accepted or reciprocated. 

Anyway, we got in a lot of arguments about this especially the last 2 weeks we were together. I started trying to find reasons to cause an issue because I was so hurt inside. I literally was distracted at work, felt like I was losing confidence, felt like I wasn't special, etc.

The final straw was when I got home from work last Monday, she refused to HUG me and hits me with I just got home from work can you give me my space for 2 hours before you start asking for affection. I literally got so frustrated inside because it's a simple as giving me a hug and I would have been out your hair on the way to the gym. Anyway, after hours of thinking, I sat her down and told her I wanted to break up because I did not feel we were compatible and did not want to keep putting myself through this. Mind you I gave her the opportunity to let me know if she thinks she can start working on this TODAY and she immediately got pissed because we have had the same talk several times at that point. She was very mad bc she felt misunderstood and she felt that I was impatient. She got mad, started saying mean stuff and I started being snarky back for a bit. 2 hours later of packing her stuff in her car, she's being snarky, locked me out of my apartment in the interim while she packed, and was just plain mean. I stopped giving her energy and just started talking to a friend over FT bc I was so stressed out. 

Somewhere in between moving stuff from my apt to her car, she lost her keys. I was going to drive her 1 hour each way to get her key then come back to get her car. We agreed I would load stuff in my car so that we could drop it off she said very rudely " can you pack **** in your car so I don't have to ******* see you again after tomorrow" and I agreed because I just did not want to have to deal with this anymore. 

After taking a load of stuff to my car, I come back to the apartment and see that she took my laundry basket and had filled it with stuff. I started taking things out of the laundry basket and lightly throwing them on the floor next to the basket claiming it was mine which it was (I felt bad about this because IDK if she would have got so mad if I just put it on the counter but still I didn't deserve what happens next) As im taking the stuff out she pushes me against the door and hits me in the body. I went to the other side of the kitchen after being like "wtf why would you do that" then saw she was taking something else that I thought was mine (which it wasn't and I also feel bad...all I said was hey this is mine too and wanted to go through it. I would have said nvm it's yours after going through it) anyways after I mentioned the next item, she comes up to me, starts swinging at me (throws 10 punches minimum with closed fists) she connects a few in the head (side of the head, lip, etc) and then jumps on me from the back and tries to choke me for like 3 seconds. After this happened I was so overwhelmed, shocked, and upset that I called the cops.

I have a successful career and did not want this to somehow get turned on me if we got a noise complaint or whatever the reason may be. I never hit her or reacted back. I literally grabbed my phone, keys, walked out of the apartment dialed 911 and then they came, I gave them a statement, they took a pic of my lip which was bleeding a bit (nothing crazy), and took her to jail.

It has been a week now and I told the DA to drop the charges although we are not dating anymore because I felt like she prob learned her lesson during the 36 hours she spent in booking/jail. In my state, it is the state vs her not me vs her but my word helps and it may get dropped.

In the back of my mind, I have kinda just felt bad and like I am at fault here even though I was mature about the situation. I feel I did not do anything wrong and if the script was flipped I would have gone to jail. I feel bad probably because I love her but I just don't know I guess I am just seeking reassurance and your opinions.

It hurt's because I treated this girl like a princess and really wanted what was best for her. I would love to do little things for her or try to motivate her to do little things, I just genuinely wanted to see her win and still do. 

Throughout the relationship I will add that she was not always the nicest girlfriend and even her best friend once told me that she got mad when she saw how she tried to boss me around one day. Sometimes It did not even feel like I was in a relationship and it felt like we were friends. I guess that is all I have to say. If you guys have questions I will reply, I guess I am just seeking some reassurance that I am not a** hole. Thanks for reading.

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(PS my ex would always tell me I have to dig in within my self to see why I seek affection from my lover - I actually thought I had a problem but I've been in a relationship before and affection and feeling close to a lover is one of the many perks of being in a relationship.)

TLDR: My ex-girlfriend hit me, I called the cops and she got arrested. Now I feel bad even though a part of me knows I reacted maturely.

Submitted January 04, 2021 at 05:52PM by downlowmgmt https://ift.tt/3hKhPRa