My (29F) husband (29M) and I reconciled after a 3-year separation, but I feel awkward and shy around him now.

Marrying me was my husband’s big act of rebellion against his family. We were both 20 at the time and thought we knew what we were getting ourselves into. His family tried to convince him to wait until we were older but they had been controlling his life since he was born and forcing him onto a path he didn’t know he wanted so he refused to listen.

For me, I had never had a good relationship with my family. My mum died when I was young, and my dad remarried and sort of forgot about me. I was definitely the black sheep and my family didn’t even react when they found out I had got married without inviting any of them.

For the first 2 years, things were fantastic. I honestly have never been happier. Then my husband decided he wanted to start a business, and things fell apart. I was no longer a priority for him. He was constantly working and travelling. We barely saw one another. His family were super proud of him and angry at me for complaining. I remember just before I left, his mother gave me a long lecture about how this is how things were in their family and I should stop trying to ruin his future. Any time I would voice my unhappiness he would promise things would get better, but he never really made an effort to improve things. Eventually, he started getting angry at me for being unhappy. One day before he left for a trip, we had a massive argument which ended with him saying “if you don’t like it, you can always leave”. So that’s what I did. Before he got back, I moved out and in with my friends.

Around this time, he had wanted to relocate us to his grandparent’s native country, I hadn’t wanted to go. When he got back and saw I was gone he sent me a message to let me know he would be moving, and I could continue living in our marital home. I was pretty devastated since I assumed my leaving would actually trigger him into fighting to fix our marriage.

For the next 3 years, I didn’t see or speak to my husband once. The only communication we had was that he would continue moving money into our joint account.

Then he “accidentally” sent me a message and we started talking again. After 6 months of talking, he asked if he could come home and we could work on things. I agreed because living on your own in the middle of a pandemic is awful and lonely.

He’s been back for about a month and things have been so awkward for me. He’s changed so much in the past three years. He’s so self-assured and relaxed whilst I feel like I’m constantly flustered around him. I feel like I’m always making up excuses to avoid him because I just don’t know how to act around him. The worst part is that he has definitely noticed. A few days ago, I was in the kitchen when he walked in and as I was leaving, I could hear him laughing to himself. He’s also taken to texting me instead of trying to initiate conversation in person. He’ll even text me if we’re in the same room now.

I know I’m making things weird and I really don’t want to, but I have no idea how to get over it. I’ve never been like this around him before, not even when we first started dating. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. How do I stop feeling so awkward and shy around him?

TL;DR – My husband and I separated 3 years ago after one of many fights which ended in him telling me I could always leave if I wasn’t happy. ~6 months ago, he reached out and we started talking. He asked if he could come back home to work on things and I agreed but I can’t stop feeling awkward and shy around him.

Submitted January 25, 2021 at 11:15AM by ThrowRAshyhusband https://ift.tt/3pl2xoO