My (20/M) girlfriend (19/F) lied and now I am in a situation I don’t know how to navigate and need help.

Let me start off by saying I’ve been dating my girlfriend officially for one month and we have known each other for 2.5. Long read but your opinion would be greatly appreciated and taken in consideration.

Weeks ago I decided to have some of my friends and my girlfriend over to drink and hangout. So about 8 people in total. Halfway through the night we are sort of scattered out, 2-3 of my friends having their own convo and the rest having their own and my girlfriend and I sitting on the couch with my arm around her with our own convo.

She’s on her phone when she laughs out loud. I’m curious so I ask “what’s so funny” thinking it was a tik tok or something. She says something like “oh Liam (her bestfriend who is a guy) said something, but I think it’ll get you mad.” I’m confused at first because I wondered what he could possibly say to get me mad. So obviously I ask “what did he say” and she says something like “he joked and said he wishes he could have seen the nudes I sent you.”

(Previous night my girlfriend was sending me nudes and her mom was walking by her room and saw her and my girlfriend was embarrassed)

I instantly say “yea that makes me mad” then seconds later I ask “have you an Liam ever hooked up or been anything? She looks me in the face and says “no”. So I’m annoyed for a bit but then I let it go and think it’s just a dumb kid who made a dumb joke that wouldn’t happen again.

It gets late and everyone goes home. Once home my girlfriend texts me basically saying “Liam was just joking, he would never try to compromise our relationship and I love you”.

The next day we hangout and all is good, no worries at all. But the day after this I’m at work and around 4:30 I get a text from my girlfriend saying “hey babe, I think I may have lied the other night, I didn’t cheat or anything, but me and Liam hooked up and stuff a long time ago.” I’m completely baffled when I read this and my heart sank and I was speechless and didn’t know what to say. I asked her “by hook up and stuff do you mean sex?” To which she replied yes then I asked “how long ago is “long ago”? And she said “a year and a half ago.” I told her “I don’t think a year and a half ago is a “long time”.

We go back and forth and and she’s trying to basically cover her ass and tells me I should trust her and that Liam made a mistake. Still very upset about the situation, we come to an agreement. I tell her I don’t like Liam and I’m not comfortable with him or how close they are. She says “ you don’t have to be comfortable with him and i understand why you want me to distance myself with him.”

Three weeks later I’m at my friends house and my girlfriend is at one of her girl friends house along with her friend group. I check Snapchat and see she posted a selfie with Liam captioning it “fucked up”. I’m instantly like “wtf”. So I text her and say “why would you post that with Liam knowing I don’t like him and aren’t comfortable with him.” Once again we go back and forth for a day or two and then she tells me “it’s been three weeks you should be over it, you should treat Liam like all my other guy friends, if you trust me you should trust Liam, you should forgive Liam, people make mistakes, I’m not gonna stop taking pictures with him because he’s a friend and I’m gonna take pictures just like I do with all my other friends.”

Like I said this is my first relationship and I thought i communicated the right way the first time with my valid feelings but now she’s making me feel like I’m wrong for my feelings. I don’t fully trust her and I get a icky feeling when I see or hear this kids name now. I know for a fact if she were in my position she would be reacting much worse than I am so I don’t know how she could possibly tell me I should be comfortable with this guy. I also want to add that I’m not currently friends with anyone I had sex with so there is no double standard. I am also 20.

TL;DR: girlfriend tells current male bestfriend and former FWB about sending me sexual pictures, he “jokes” about wanting to see them, she lies about their sexual history, then steps all over agreed upon boundaries. Need help

Submitted January 05, 2021 at 07:51PM by bazook-0 https://ift.tt/3rWDOsO