My (18F) mom keeps trying to convince my dad to kill himself, in addition to hitting him sometimes. I want to move away for university but I’m scared that it will be the last time I will see him as my mom calls him names, verbally abuses him every day, made him promise to kill himself if I have sex with my boyfriend (she blames him for raising a “slut” like me, although I’ve only had 1 boyfriend who I have been dating for 2.5 years). I feel more at peace in my boyfriend’s house than my own, but my mom does not let me go to his house. I sometimes sneak there, but I get caught and my mom blames my dad for it and he does not deserve to get yelled at on my behalf.
It has been over 2 years since she started to convince my dad to kill himself. It was because she suspected that I lost my virginity to my boyfriend when I was 16. My dad defended me and she said that if I get caught having sex, he has to kill himself. My dad agreed.
I lost my virginity. My mom found out by searching through my phone. My dad said he will kill himself. 6 months later, he is still alive. My mom is mad at him because he is still alive. She says he needs to hurry up. He says that he will do it when he knows that we will be able to live a stable life without him, financially.
My dad does not fight back to her and lets her abuse both of us physically and verbally. My mom takes away our food and the cutlery in my house, and always tracks my location when I go out with my bus card. Whenever I do something that is not to her liking, she calls my grandma (dad’s mom) in hopes that she will get “stressed to the point where she has a heart attack”, according to my mom. My sister (23F) moved out of the house a year ago and does not talk to us anymore and is always absent when I beg for her help. My dad is depressed, never leaves the house unless it is to walk my dogs. He does not eat unless I cook for him and does not shower or do his laundry. I take care of my dad every day and I’m tired. I have to balance this with university and I don’t have the motivation to get out of bed, or to eat, let alone take care of another adult.
The house is a mess. Nobody does the dishes, there is food is rotting in the sink. The living room is cluttered with spare parts from renovating the house, clothes, dog toys, etc. The kitchen does not have any room to place anything. There is only 1 fork between the 3 of us in this house because my mom hid them all. We’re not poor, we live in a house and we’re fairly stable. My mom just hides everything. It’s like she doesn’t want us to be happy. I lost 8 kg in the past 4 months (in which she started hiding food and cutlery) and my dad has lost weight as well, but I’m not sure how much.
TLDR; my family is a mess, my house is a mess. I want to get away from here but I can’t because I have to take care of my dad. I feel anxious to move away because my mom made my dad promise that he will kill himself. My dad said that he will kill himself when he is sure that we can live without him and everything is stable, I’m assuming financially. I’m scared every time I leave the house because I don’t know what will happen. Recently, a mutual friend that I have on social media lost his mom to suicide and I’m scared that my dad will do the same.
Submitted January 02, 2021 at 11:43PM by tctplcypk https://ift.tt/3n7xvPC
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