Father of my child and ex wants to meet up after I’ve come to terms with being alone.

ThrowRa for reasons.

I’m 28M, ex is 30M.

I’m FTM.

Before I came out or started transitioning I got pregnant.

I learnt I was pregnant early on and it’s honestly what led to me coming out to friends and family; I wanted to terminate the pregnancy.

It didn’t work out like that.

Ex insisted I’d carry to term and we’d give the child up and continue our relationship, I was in a vulnerable state so I agreed.

I can see throughout my pregnancy that maybe his lies were because he felt protective over our son.

Parents harassed me the entire pregnancy but acted supportive of my gender identity (spoiler alert; they just wanted a grandson)

The pregnancy almost drove me over the edge, several times and I still haven’t really come to terms with it.

Getting to the point;

A week before giving birth I got guilted into keeping the baby, I had family and my ex on my case and I gave in.

I couldn’t hold the baby, couldn’t feed the baby and it just got so bad and I wanted to give him up for adoption and keep my relationship going but as weird as this may sound or as contradictory; I loved my son.

Instead of seeking help for my depression though, instead of accepting that I still loved my son, I got pressured into signing over my rights.

I’m ashamed to admit that I gave in pretty easily.

Since then I’ve gone no contact with parents and transitioned and I’m actually happy, I don’t feel the need to have a relationship and I’m surrounded by friends and I’m actually happy in my body.

My ex reached out and wants us to “talk” and for our son to meet me and I’m just so torn because I’ve finally gotten to a stage where I’m finally happy.

Is it wrong to not want to put that happiness at risk?

I just don’t know what to do.

((Son is now 5))

TLDR; Ex and parents talked me into continuing my pregnancy despite my body dysmorphia, when they saw my depression they thought I wasn’t capable of loving my son and talked me into giving him up, ex now wants to meet up and talk, I’m finally in a stage of life where I’m happy and now I’m confused.

Submitted January 08, 2021 at 11:12AM by ThrowRa19472 https://ift.tt/2LiSamG