I [20F] had a heart-to-heart conversation with my dad [48M] last week, then I heard him calling me names over the phone when he was talking to my mom [45F] about our coversation

My parents have been fighting over an issue for 4 months now. This issue concerns my dad's parents and my mom who never got along. In between, my dad took a job in a different state and moved away from us. I try to be as objective as possible and take neither side, however, this fight has caused me a lot of anxiety and stress.

I have a good father. I am his only child and I know he dearly loves me. He is very well educated and made good enough money to put me through the best schools and provide a comfortable life for us. However, I have always had issues with my father since childhood. He has been verbally abusive to my mom and me. My mom always tells me the only reason he stayed with him is because of me.

My parents always fought so it is not a new thing for me, but it has never been this big. I am preparing myself for graduating next year and going to law school and this fight has caused me a lot of stress. My mom comes home from work and all she talks about is about this drama. She has become very unhappy and sad yet, I can't do anything about it. I know that this drama is mainly my dad's fault, but he is very stubborn and doesn't listen to anyone. He yells as soon as I bring anything up. He just doesn't listen to anyone.

A week ago, I called my dad and I told him that I am sick and tired of this crap. I asked him to end this drama and I poured my heart out, telling him how much I have struggled in the past couple of months because of this. I didn't judge him or took anyone's side. Yet, he yelled at me, I yelled at him, I cried over the phone for him, he cried for me, and I begged him to stop this. We talked for 3 hours and he promised me that he will call my mom, and fix this situation because he doesn't wanna see me distressed. I was happy that I finally made some progress to end this.

Tonight, I heard my mom yelling over the phone. I went to check what is going on, and she put it on speaker. It was my dad. As soon as she put him on, he mentioned my name. He called me "worthless" and "childish" (we speak a language other than English at home so it translates differently) and some other names which are not appropriate to mention here (he didn't know I was listening). He was telling my mom about our heart-to-heart conversation and the fact that how little he thinks of me after that.

I was shocked. I could not believe how mean he could be towards me. All my life, I worked so hard to make him proud; I went to one of the top universities in the world with amazing grades, have always been obedient and never did anything wrong in my life, yet, he said that he doesn't regard me "as his own anymore". Yet, he is the only family member I have besides my mom. I am very heartbroken and angry right now and don't know how to react.

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tl;dr: My parents have been fighting over an issue for 4 months now. I had a heart-to-heart conversation with my dad [48M] last week, then I heard him calling me names over the phone when he was talking to my mom about our conversation.

Submitted July 24, 2019 at 11:10PM by taikatalvii https://ift.tt/2M6P9UK