I [24m] bought my wife [21f] a pair of glasses. I feel like I opened Pandora’s Box a little and I don’t know how to tactfully put it back on.

So a bit about my wife of a year, Belle. Money is kind of an issue for her. Not that she spends too much. She feels very guilty about spending anything at all.

She’s a college student right now so she does not have her own income. I just gave her a debit card to my own account. I’ve told her continuously throughout our marriage that as long as she doesn’t go apeshit, I really don’t mind her spending money on herself. I have a good job and we’ve got enough.

She still hardly ever spends anything on herself and will still text me to ask if it is okay to buy a coffee on her way to class or something, usually coupled with an apology that she needs to spend a dollar and a half. If I don’t see the text and don’t specifically give her my permission, she won’t buy her coffee.

Anyway, Belle also wears glasses. A little over a month ago it was time to get an updated pair, we went in, she picked out her frames, etc.

When they got to her she seemed kind of bummed and I asked her what was wrong with them. She told me she hated the glasses she was wearing. This was news to me as I had never heard her say she didn’t like her glasses. I asked her why she picked those frames if she didn’t like them and she told me that insurance only covers a certain amount, blah blah.

I wound up telling her that, believe it or not, I have a job that pays us money and we can get her a pair she actually likes.

Long story, we went back to the store and I told her to pick out something she actually likes. More than once she asked me how much we can spend and I kept telling her to get whatever she wants and I would buy it for her, and it really isn’t a big deal.

She eventually settled on a pair that she seemed to really like, I got it for her, and it was good. She literally cried after she got to pick them up because she said it was the first time she has had a pair she actually liked.

She was happy, I felt pretty good about myself, and I told her that she never needs to worry about the price on something like that because she’s worth it (yes, I played to my own ego slightly).

So, anyway. A week or two after that I notice a charge to the glasses store on my bank app. I called Belle to see if they had double charged or something. She told me she had stopped back by and picked up another pair she liked since I had given her permission, and she thought it would be best to have two sets around. I can see the logic in that so I just told her to carry on.

Then she bought another pair. And another. She’s buying one to two a week. She’s got enough glasses either here or on the way to have a week-long rotation. All in all she has spent close to $2500 on glasses in the last month.

That is......not exactly what I meant when I told her to get something she’d like to wear without worrying about the price.

But she loves these new glasses of hers. She walks around the house beaming in them and I keep seeing her sitting in front of the mirror reading them on and off with a big grin on her face.

I’m really really glad she is happy, but, we maybe have enough glasses for her to choose from at this point. I’d like to tactfully tell her that it’s probably time to cool it on buying herself frames she likes. But she’s also been so shy about ever buying herself things she likes I’m also kind of worried if I do she’ll never spend on herself again.

I mean, I’m really glad she got herself some pairs she feels good in, but she went a little overboard with it, and now I don’t know what they best way to reign it back in is.

How should I approach it? Is there a tactful way to tell her she went overboard without making her feel guilty about buying herself normal everyday stuff?

TL;DR: Wife has been timid about getting herself things. I convinced her to buy a pair of glasses she likes and now she has bought eight pairs of glasses. How can I get her to tone it back down now?

Submitted July 29, 2019 at 02:12PM by Open_Fall https://ift.tt/2SQKZBw