Warning: Wall of text follows.
Hello everyone, thanks for reading this.
I proposed to my long time (known her since we were 8, on/off dating since we were 14) girlfriend last spring. She emphasized that she had a dream proposal in her head since she was a little girl and that she wanted it to be larger than life. I tried to follow her guidelines but I'm a pretty private person and am uncomfortable with doing intimate / personal things in front of crowds. She wanted it to be in front of a ton of people and ultra-romantic, and unfortunately my career and life in general kept me from proposing until a year or so after I had originally planned it.
Here's how my proposal went:
I asked her mother and father permission about a week before and got the green light from both of them. I picked her up from her parents' house (she was visiting) and told her to dress nicely because we were going out to a formal dinner. She looked gorgeous in a cocktail dress and I was wearing my nicest tailored suit (that I picked up specifically to propose in). I got the car detailed beforehand and made sure everything was lined up. We arrived at the restaurant (one of the top 3 restaurants in the city) and were seated in a private area next to a fire place. We had a spectacular dinner of Colorado lamb, wine, drinks and champagne and had a great time in general. After dinner we drove (surprise) to one of the top downtown hotels in the area. I had already checked into the hotel and set the room up before I picked her up for dinner. At this point she was just buzzed enough from the alcohol that when I had a bellhop following behind us she didn't realize that he wasn't carrying any bags. I had her close her eyes and we walked into the ($800/night) suite where I had her stand in the middle of the room and open her eyes. When she did I was on one knee, the bellhop was taking pictures and I proposed after telling her how much I loved her / how much she meant to me. She said yes, I popped the champagne that was waiting on ice in the room and everything was great (I also had chocolate and a bouquet of flowers, candles set up and rose petals in the bathtub / on the bed). After the proposal we went downstairs to a very trendy bar and had a couple drinks to celebrate. I also already had the ring from the designer she wanted and already sized to her. It took me a year to pay off.
Fast forward half a year. I'm living in another state for my career for about a year while she finishes up college back at home and we agreed to not get married until I returned home. Things are stressed because my job is very demanding and she feels like I don't care enough about her (I'm not very good at expressing myself and/or being gushy). Now she's telling me that she should have said no to my proposal because it wasn't good enough and not what she wanted. Furthermore she's telling me that I need to swallow my pride and propose to her again and to make it what she wanted this time. On top of that she says I either need to become more committed to the relationship or that we need to take a break and date other people.
Needless to say I am confused as hell. She understands that I'm not comfortable at all proposing in public but I think that saying that she should have said no and that I need to re-do it is a bit extreme to say the least. What the hell should I do? She's adamant about this and I just feel like I'll never live up to what she wants me to be. I want to work things out without taking a break but I'm clueless as to what I should do.
(I mentioned money/prices not because I'm balling out of control, but that I easily blew a month's paycheck on the proposal alone. I actually don't make much at all - just enough to live comfortably.)
TL;DR I proposed to my fiance and thought I did a good job. She said yes, but half a year later she's telling me that she should have said no and that I should swallow my pride and propose to her again - the right way this time.
Submitted July 26, 2019 at 02:24PM by Mageimin https://ift.tt/2SObhEM
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